Cancelling at last minute -no biggy?

OK, well I'll just eat all this  alone then...

I was talking to one of my Shanghainese friends the other day and asked her about what she’d done during the wknd. (Unlike a lot of my friends here she didn’t just reply: “sleeping!”). She told me that she’d gone to a Japanese restaurant to catch up with an old school friend, but the friend had never turned up.  

-What?! I asked, clearly surprised. What happened? Did your friend have an accident or did you have a fight or something?

-No… well I went to the restaurant and waited for her for 2 hours (!!!). It was kind of annoying since I was really hungry but I read some magazines while I was waiting. In the end I was sad that she couldn’t make it but she was really busy at work.

I was astonished by her kindness! If a friend stood me up like that I am not sure that I could have said as many nice things about her, well at least not only 4 days afterwards. But the more time I spend in China, the more I realize that ‘cancelling things at last minute/not showing up/ having people waiting for you’ is not considered to be a biggy over here. 

Remember the western guy that I wrote about in the ‘go dutch’ post? Well, in the end he never had to experience any ‘who-is-going-to-pay-drama’ because the girls spent the whole day cancelling on him. First they cancelled lunch 30 min prior to it happening. Then it was said that they were going to play pool at 5pm. When he still hadn’t heard anything from them at 4.30pm he decided to give it all a complete miss (I guess on the bright side he saved a lot of money). 

The worse ‘stood-up’ I have experienced here in China, however, occurred when I worked at a city magazine and was supposed to go and interview some rugby (?) team that were practicing in Shanghai’s eastern part, Pudong, on Saturdays. I had arranged for a photographer to come with me, but when the day came I woke up with tonsillitis and couldn’t get out of bed. I spent the morning trying to get someone to cover for me, and then called the photographer to inform him that I wasn’t coming.

Turns out, however, that neither was he.

-Oh, I don’t think I can make it either.

-Why not? Are you also sick?

-No, but I am on the train.

-Train?

-Yeah, I am on my way to Guangzhou!

I find the funniest bit in this story to be the fact that I called him… Imagine if I wouldn’t have woken up sick, and gone out to interview the team and we all would have stood there (me and the beefy guys) waiting for the photographer. How completely unprofessional! But he didn’t even apologize. In the end I almost felt like as if it was my fault that he didn’t show up. I should have reminded him and double-checked (Fortunately, the story turned out well in the end. Since neither the photographer nor me could attend I simply postponed it all).

I still don’t really understand why people have such a relaxed attitude towards ‘not turning up/ cancelling on your friends at the last minute.’ I personally find it kind of…rude. Although that is obviously because where I come from, it is not considered to be OK to just ‘not show up’ or to be 2 hours late. And I think that despite the fact that ‘when in Rome,’ this is one of those things I will never get used to/do myself.

"你去哪儿玩儿？"/ "Where do you go for fun?"

I had an interesting conversation with a foot masseur the other day. While he was frowning at my extremely ugly toes I felt I needed to explain that I wasn’t actually born like that, but that the reason why some of them are… ehum, black, is because I like running (and no matter what shoes I put on there is one nail that always goes black. I reckon my feet might be a bit defamed, but that’s another story).

My interest in running was kind of interesting to the guy. He continued asking me how often I run and if I consider it to be ‘fun’ or if I do it just because I ‘have to.’ No, I consider running to fun, I answered (partly true… at least on some days) and then he wanted to know what else I do for fun here in Suzhou. Like, during weekends and such.

-I often go the gym, or I hang out with friends at cafés and restaurants. If I want to go shopping I normally go to Shanghai. If the weather is bad I like to stay home and read or write, or watch a movie...

-How about Suzhou's bar street? (the infamous Shiquan Jie)

-Not really (not my cup of tea –well at least not in Suzhou) So how about you?

-Me?!

-Yeah, what do you do for fun?

-I go to the Suzhou gardens. Have you been?

-Yes once.

-Ah, I have been one and a half time.

-One and a half?

-Yeah. I went to one garden once. And then I have been outside another one. So one and a half.

-But you said you go there for fun?

-Yes?

-But you have only been once?

-One and a half!

-Yeah, OK. But what else do you do for fun?

-I already told you!

-Except for the garden, where else do you go?

I don’t know why I couldn’t get across this second time. But the guy never gave me a clear answer. It was as if I had stepped over the line asking what else he likes to do when he is not in/outside a famous Suzhou garden.

So I asked another friend what she does for fun during her weekends in Suzhou.

-Sleep, she said.

-Just sleep?

-And go to different restaurants. Sometimes I go swimming.

-Oh cool.

-Well I have only been once.

-Oh, OK.

Hm… so is that the deal here. You’ve been once and you add it to your list of fun? In that case my list of fun is also a fair bit more interesting than what I first mentioned: horseback riding at a cowboy ranch outside Suzhou (more about that some other time), HHH 3-hour-run at the Taihu Lake, daytrip to Zhu Jia Jiao, mini-marathon around Jinji Hu (I got lost) as well as brunch at the Sheraton. Yup, just once but it was great fun!

Yup, just some regular weekend activity over here.... Let me introduce my friend Luke! 

They are just trying to scare us, right?

I miss my old classmates...

So far, Mandarin level 5 has been nothing but scary. I don’t know if that is the teachers intentions during the first, intensive weeks (when you haven’t quite worked up your ‘writing-character-speed' yet), but if it is, they are definitely successful. There’s been a lot of ‘comparison’ of students. A lot of praising. Some verbal caning. Some ‘warnings’ (“My exams are really hard and I suggest that if you don’t understand even 90% of what I am saying, that you stop wasting anyone’s time and jump down to level 4”) as well as some ‘shocking information’ (such as the fact that our grammar teacher won’t “waste any time” on explaining how to use the 79 new words for each chapter. We have to do that ourselves). Also, stupid questions are not acceptable, however, if you have a nut that you seriously cannot crack, and that you notice that a lot of classmates also have a problem with, it is OK to ask.

We also have to keep 3 notebooks. One for writing sentences. One for ting xie (which is a weekly character test). And one for… yeah, to be quite honest with you, I should probably already head down to level 4 because I didn’t quite get what the third book was for. And I didn’t dare to ask. But it’s still early days, so I guess I figure it out with time.

My classmates, then, is another story. As always, a highly ambitious bunch. But this time it is almost over the top. There are two people (one Korean girl and one European guy, I didn’t quite get where he was from –hm, another sign that I need to jump down one level?) who already have degrees in Chinese studies, but who haven’t ‘used their Chinese for some years’ and feel they need some ‘freshen up.’ They are both fluent to that extent that I don’t understand half of what they are saying. The girl speaks really fast and the boy says things like “I am studying Chinese in order to expand my world-view” (I had to look it up in my dictionary), speaks with a heavy dong-bei accent and had previously worked as a Chinese translator (“although it was eight years ago so my Chinese has gone really bad now” –eh… yeah, sure, whatever).

What are they doing in my class?! Them, with their fancy degrees in Chinese studies are going to learn together with me, who have only studied for 1,5 years?! Don’t get me wrong, I am going nowhere, I finished level 4 on a quite high score, although I cannot help but wondering how the gap between two levels can be so wide? I almost wish there was a 4,5 class….

(Even though I keep reminding myself ‘not to compare myself with them’ it is a bit hard not too. Although trust me, I am doing my outmost. Repeating it to myself at least once ever 10 minutes)

Our grammar teacher (an old, old lady) already told us that she’s not going to "baby" us by using vocabulary that we already know when she speaks. Rather, she’s going to be using a lot of new words, to make it harder for us. She also said that all of us probably won’t pass her exams, and pointed towards a tall, western guy seated at the front. Not until later, when the guy introduced himself did we understand what she meant: this guy is taking level 5 for the third time (!) this semester. He apparently has a lot of problems with the characters (hm.. sounds familiar...) and hasn’t yet managed to pass the exams.

Well one thing is for sure, I am going to study my a** off so that it’s not me sitting there again next semester saying that I find ‘writing Chinese characters’ to be my biggest problem. NO way. I am moving on. One semester at time. Regardless of tough teachers and over-ambitious classmates. Here we go.

How I lost my potential training buddy

Last week at the gym I was in for a weight session. I’m not going to lie and say that I enjoy doing weights, but after several gibes from the men in my life (boyfriend, little brother, even dad at times, saying things like “no real runner neglects her upper body”) I decided to give my ’upper body muscles’ a go some eight months ago (however, so far I am not too impressed with the results. Instead of feeling ’fit’ I often look myself in the mirror and get this feeling I look bigger than I used to do… although that can just be the result of me spending too much time with my super skinny and tiny looking Chinese female friends).

Anyway, since weights are not my fave thing to do, I was utterly happy when I entered the gym and immediately bumped into my trainer friend Rocky (who's originally from Hunan) who had already finished work and who was also getting ready for a training session.

-Wanna train together? He asked.

-Sure!

Fancy bumping into him like that! He’s not only good company to a normally boring-1-hour-weight-session, but since he doesn’t speak any English its an excellent opportunity for me to rely on my Chinese.

We started off at the free weights section, lifting, chatting (OK, I did most of the chatting), encouraging each other and getting all red-faced and stuff (I had to try a little bit extra since I was working out with a trainer). I have to say that Rocky had a very interesting way of training. I have been taught (once again by the muscle men in my life) to start as heavy as possible and then go lighter in case I cannot finish my repetitions. But Rocky started fairly light and then went heavier (telling me I was making it 'too easy for myself' since I was not doing the same as him. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he didn’t believe me when I, in a high-pitched voice, tried to explain that ‘I started lifting this heavy one, and it was so heavy that now I can only lift this lighter weight’).

Still, all was good until Rocky suggested we’d do a stomach machine (stomach curl I think it is called). I normally don’t do this machine (regular sit-ups is my religion) but was happy to tag along to enjoy the company. Rocky started off and while he worked himself sweaty on the machine I rambled on and on about how much I wanted to go to Hunan and all the things I wanted to eat there.

I was so busy chatting that once Rocky was done and it was my turn to sit down I didn’t even stop but continued to talk while doing the stomach movement. 15 repetitions later I looked up, still talking, only to find Rocky looking at me with a wild expression on his face.

-You…. Did… the same weights as…. Me?! And it wasn’t even hard for you?

-Oh? Did I?

I hadn’t even noticed. In fact, I hadn’t even paid attention to what I was doing, nevertheless how much weight was on the machine?! I was too busy talking about spicy eggplant.

-Eh… ehum… yes. Although it was… hard! I offered, seeing that Rocky didn’t seem to be very much in love with the thought of me being as strong as him.

-You western girls are too strong!! I am too weak! I really have to get stronger. Why am I so skinny… oh my gosh… (我的天啊。。。)

-Eh, no really?! It’s… all the running you know?! Gives you great abs! You should try it sometime! I tried.

Although I had clearly lost him.

The final 3 repetitions he added some insane numbers of weight to the stomach curl, probably to prove to himself that he wasn’t ‘as weak as he though,’ although the pain mirrored in his face when he tried to work the machine was hard to watch (I, on the other side ended up removing some weight in an effort to make him feel better).

We finished off in the stretching room where Rocky kept going on and on about western women being ‘太厉害’ (tai lihai –too tough) and about him having to work out ‘more’ and ‘harder’ to 'get more fit.' 

Oh dear. All over some silly machine that I don’t even normally use?! I’m guessing that in the future, I’ll be working out alone. 

Long wknd in Changsha?

mmmmm... Hunan dishes...

A friend of mine and I are planning a spontaneous, weekend escape to Changsha in Hunan. I have been wanting to go to Hunan for ages, mainly because of all the yummy/spicy food… I have read that Changsha city is nothing special, but we weren’t thinking about spending too much time in the city, but rather just having the city as our base point and doing some day trips to near-by attraction such as the Yuelu landscapes…

Unfortunately we don’t have time to travel further into Hunan (this time) because we were only going to be away for 3-4 days.

I am still thinking that it could be nice with a change of scene. What do you guys reckon –has anyone who’s been to Changsha any travel tips? I am not a huge sightseeing bug, but maybe there’s something that would be nice to see? (how are the Yule landscapes –anyone?) Chatting to locals is probably what I enjoy the most, so if we end up going, that will be a big part of the trip.

Photo special: Shanghai's old town

Yes, the Old town of Shanghai is a total tourist trap, however, I still find it kind of cozy, with yummy xiaolongbaos (a type of baozi with soup inside), not to mention the fact that it's a good place for people watching and photo snapping. (Note, all these photos weren't taken on the same day -as you might notice there's a bit of different season going on).

I'd never recommend anyone to go there for shopping, Shanghai has much better places for that, however, the Yu Yuan is kind of nice (but give that famous -and expensive- tea house in the middle of the garden a miss).

Little things that make your day

Even though me and the guards working at our complex in general get along well and enjoy some quality game time together, there has to be someone living around here that doesn’t like me.

I was shocked yesterday morning when I went down to the bike parking lot and discovered that my precious bike had been ‘vandalized’: someone had stolen (!) the bike bell, ruined the backlight and tried to steel my geeky, old-lady-style bike basket (although they might have been caught in the act because it was still hanging onto my bike on a mere screw). Since I rely so much on my bike I decided to get it fixed by once, despite the fact that it was raining cats and dogs outside.

Now, there’s a thing with me and shops. If I find a shop, let’s say a bike shop, that I like, no matter where in the city it is located, I will always return there. Last time my bike was in need of some aid I went to a small, dirty little place located at the other end of Suzhou to where I live (don’t ask me what I was doing there –I assume that I was out ‘enjoying a bike ride’ or something like that?). Since I got immaculate service from two old men running the shop, I had no other choice but to return to this very shop.

Sure, I did get a bit wet but it was well worth the trip (although going on a bike ride without a bike bell was like pure torture. I almost killed myself as well as a bunch of pedestrians. Note to self: there is no such thing as riding a bike without a bike bell over here). I’m not sure if the repair guy recognized me although I think so, because he gave me a friendly giggle when he saw me, completely soaked, standing in his shop. (Last time I was there –to get a new bike basket- I managed to impress him as I knew the Chinese word for both basket (篮子-lan zi) and tire (轮胎 -lun tai) and he called me a ‘smart laowai’ before we said our goodbyes).

-My bike needs some repairing! I said.

-Oh I can tell it does! He said. You want a new bell?

-Yes please.

-What kind?

-The cheapest one you’ve got (I was considering the fact that someone living in our complex might be collecting bike bells so I figured I would go for something quite tacky looking in order to not have it stolen again).

He went to a bag and grabbed a pink, shiny bell.

-Have you got something even cheaper? Not so good looking?

This made him smile a little, before he nodded and went into another room. He came back carrying a low-key, black, boring looking bell.

-Perfect. I said. Does it work?

He tried it for me, but there was no ringing sound. Actually, it barely made any sound at all. Just a low, rusty sounding ‘rrrrrrr.’

-OK, no, I can’t use that! I said. How much is the pink one?

-5 kuai.

-OK I will take that one then. How much is this one by the way (pointed at the black, useless bell).

-4 kuai.

-But it doesn’t even make a sound?! Does anyone buy it?

We both laughed. (I guess cheap bastards like me do)

He changed my bike bell and fixed the backlight and the basket. While he was at it, he also did some extra ‘touching up’ on my bike.

Meanwhile he was fixing my bike another customer walked in, keen to buy a bike. Oblivious to the fact that the old man was busy, he started asking around and touching bikes in the shop. I was expecting the repair guy to abandon my bike to make a sale, but nope… he was so devoted to repairing my bike that he didn’t even care about his new customer, who in the end left –bike-less. 

Once the old man was done (and my bike was shining like a new one!) I gave him a 10 kuai-note and said:

-Is 10 kuai enough?

-No! I already told you. Five kuai.

-But….

-I already told you. 5 kuai for the bell. Now wait here I will bring you your change.

Wow. Now that’s a conversation I don’t often have in China.

Some minutes later I left on my as-good-as-new looking bike, happy as a day. Going back to places where you've gotten good service sure is the way to go in China. I'm already looking forward to my next visit.