tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491088023973371313.post1715751327456415800..comments2023-10-29T21:14:24.325+08:00Comments on SHE in China: Helping out a friend -only when asked for?Jonna Wibeliushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08954672453008704738noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491088023973371313.post-52079026359377194002008-09-18T16:30:00.000+08:002008-09-18T16:30:00.000+08:00Not a problem Jonna.I actully had been to lots of ...Not a problem Jonna.<BR/>I actully had been to lots of similar situation with my Kiwi friends, although it was not as severe as a fire.<BR/><BR/>But the misunderstanding can be frustrating. It really requires patience and efforts to work things out sometimesMark's Bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11261344850661323552noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491088023973371313.post-36273814716728469082008-09-18T15:41:00.000+08:002008-09-18T15:41:00.000+08:00Hey thanks Mark for clearing that out. I will ask ...Hey thanks Mark for clearing that out. I will ask his cousin next time I see him if they need anything. I felt so awful when I heard about it and although he said it was 'just stuff' I could still see he was sad about losing some of it.Jonna Wibeliushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08954672453008704738noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491088023973371313.post-47502531184302221352008-09-18T15:37:00.000+08:002008-09-18T15:37:00.000+08:00I am a Chinese, I think sometimes it's just that p...I am a Chinese, I think sometimes it's just that people need some one to listen to their story. Speaking out these kind of things will make people feel much better, they need some one to share. It is difficulty to assess whether he really want your help, however. Because in that case, he would probably ask you directly for what he need. It's possible that he say them to imply you he needs help by saying that, rather than asking directly. <BR/><BR/>But I think it's better to do this in a typical Chines way:ask his Chinese friend about the situation, and what he need.<BR/>Then, just give him whatever you think he needs, he may refuse it at first, but you just give it to him; if he still refuse, you tell him you just want to help, if you cannot help him in situation like this, it makes you feel sad and useless, and he should treat you as a real friend who can help.<BR/><BR/>I guess that's the stage he will accept it, or tell you why he tells you everything but still does not want help.<BR/><BR/>So I guess these are two possible situations<BR/>1. Not want helping, just want to share the feeling with others, which is typical<BR/>2. Want help, but too embrass to say it, in this case you need to figure out the thing yourself and give the hepl regardless what he sayMark's Bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11261344850661323552noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491088023973371313.post-83082250793210508002008-09-18T07:47:00.000+08:002008-09-18T07:47:00.000+08:00It's polite to ask and it's polite to refuse. It's...It's polite to ask and it's polite to refuse. It's just a formality in most cases.<BR/><BR/>People rarely help out each other unless you are very close friends/family for these extremely bad situations. Small things, people are more willing to accept help. I think it's pretty typical in China...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com