tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491088023973371313.post5260173221415563801..comments2023-10-29T21:14:24.325+08:00Comments on SHE in China: I've cracked the nutJonna Wibeliushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08954672453008704738noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491088023973371313.post-63085944968277647222009-12-16T21:19:15.130+08:002009-12-16T21:19:15.130+08:00Hi ...
Saying that you're "fat" in ...Hi ...<br /><br />Saying that you're "fat" in your face means two things in the chinese way of mentality...<br />1.. it's their nature to be blunt, and intrusive in chinese culture<br />2... Jealousy rides their mind when they meet someone better than them (doesn't it happens in all races/ethnic culture?) <br /><br />Frankly, i find it rude that they bring up people's "flaws"/"imperfections" so unexpectedly... <br /><br />They give other chinese people, (who don't think/act like that) a bad name. Shame on them!<br /><br />-CaseyM Jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09738164466388160536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491088023973371313.post-78186273415575119362008-12-09T06:33:00.000+08:002008-12-09T06:33:00.000+08:00yuyang -if the comment would have come from a frie...yuyang -if the comment would have come from a friend that I normally have coffee with I could buy your theory, but these guys are personal trainers.. if anyone is into training/weight control, it is them. Training might not be huge in China but the people that are into it, are REALLY into it, if u know what I mean. <BR/><BR/>And... since they have followed all of my running success/failure stories, they know how much I love sport too. In fact, they have often before made comments about me being 'very fit' and so on.. so that's why I was kind of shocked when they suddenly told me I was 'fat'... but but.Jonna Wibeliushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08954672453008704738noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491088023973371313.post-21256404939737469082008-12-09T05:59:00.000+08:002008-12-09T05:59:00.000+08:00the best explaination i can think about is people ...the best explaination i can think about is people tend to use 你看起来瘦了些/胖了些.你看起来气色不太好/不错 It's just a sentence to start a conversation and show they care about u, absolutly no offend. beside,they dont know fitness means a lot to u. It's not a big deal in china(while a large amount of ppl are still experiencing hungry.)yuyanghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10892795323917437926noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491088023973371313.post-32891084167915922112008-12-09T02:59:00.000+08:002008-12-09T02:59:00.000+08:00Well, I think it is only a way of saying Hello, wi...Well, I think it is only a way of saying Hello, with little real meaning. Like the old 你吃了吗?Just a way of greeting. But it changes with time. I have not heard 你吃了吗 for a long time. But 你瘦了/胖了 is more usual now. Kinda like fashion.Mark's Bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11261344850661323552noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491088023973371313.post-9290667450123569812008-12-09T02:41:00.000+08:002008-12-09T02:41:00.000+08:00I agree with Anonymous that it's a combination of ...I agree with Anonymous that it's a combination of 1 and 2. I don't think it was their tactics to keep you coming. It's just some small talk.<BR/><BR/>Chinese tend to be casual and direct on these comments, which are by no means offensive on most occassions. I also make similar comments on my friends regardless of their gender. Sometimes these talks serve to start a conversation. Sometimes you want to make fun of a friend by saying them. For example, a man may flirt with his girlfriend (or a female friend) by saying "Hey beauty, long time no see, you seem to have put on some weight (which is not necessarily the case)". He is expected to receive a friendly punch from the girl or something, or the girl may pretend to be angry with him and expect him to say something sweet. Ha,ha ... I'm sure most foreigners are not used to these kind of things. Learning a language is relatively easy, learning what's behind the language is somewhat difficult.Hanghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15420626302943108535noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491088023973371313.post-41081598124652803352008-12-08T18:47:00.000+08:002008-12-08T18:47:00.000+08:00Josh, M-E, Lauren and Emil -thanks for sharing you...Josh, M-E, Lauren and Emil -thanks for sharing your experiences, it feels so much better when u hear that almost everyone are having similar experiences here. Like I said, I don't take these comments dead serious anymore (although I did the first time my Chinese boss told me I had put on weight -at that time I was living in Finland and had no idea about Chinese customs/culture) but I still find them kind of funny... M-E, if they tell u u look slim u are a lucky lady! I have never been told that one.. the closest to a 'body related' compliment I have gotten here is: "you have VERY VERY big bones but very little meat, so you look okay!"<BR/><BR/>hahahah.. makes me crack up when I think about it. <BR/><BR/>Josh -I feel for that small girl that everyone calls fat. When I studied mandarin level 1 there was a guy in our class who was one size (or ok, 4 sizes) bigger than everyone else and our teacher always used him as an example when she taught us adjectives, eg: <BR/>"Mike is handsome and James is fat". Even though she kept saying that she 'didn't mean anything bad about it' afterwards, I could see on James that he wasn't really enjoying being called 'fat' in front of the whole class.. But yeah, that's just the way they do things over here.Jonna Wibeliushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08954672453008704738noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491088023973371313.post-73824413327533733092008-12-08T16:33:00.000+08:002008-12-08T16:33:00.000+08:00Whenever I go to get some food at the local restau...Whenever I go to get some food at the local restaurant, the owner tells me I will crash my bike and die if I don't put more air into my tyres :-( *knock on wood*<BR/><BR/>It's very direct, and maybe they are just trying to motivate you into getting back into the swing of things. Feel the burn and all that, haha :-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491088023973371313.post-48763437791722666112008-12-08T16:23:00.000+08:002008-12-08T16:23:00.000+08:00This happens to everyone! They always say my husb...This happens to everyone! They always say my husband is fatter. Usually I am told I am slimmer (even after eating hamburgers and steak in the US for 2 months!). Really, it means nothing.<BR/><BR/>When my friend came back from a long stint in the US, he was changing in the gym and chatting with a friend. When the guy saw his belly, he promptly poked it, cut the conversation off and ordered "Get out there!" <BR/><BR/>You are quite slim and I admire you for being so dedicated to working out!m--ehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01854445691240106877noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491088023973371313.post-271866030077143782008-12-08T16:18:00.000+08:002008-12-08T16:18:00.000+08:00It is just like WoAi said.Since you have not been ...It is just like WoAi said.<BR/><BR/>Since you have not been to the gym for some time they automaticly think you have become more fat.<BR/><BR/>Just like when I was sick then everyone told me I got sooo skinny, even though I had not lost any weight. But you can pretty fast loose the outer muscle tones when not training for a while. I know I had, just finished my three weeks non-training restituion plan and I can easily see that my legs dont look beef at all, even though I know I have not lost any muscles.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491088023973371313.post-37339717649751677262008-12-08T14:51:00.000+08:002008-12-08T14:51:00.000+08:00Even as a guy I get commented on my weight, and I'...Even as a guy I get commented on my weight, and I'm fairly athletic. Like you said, it really doesn't hurt as much as it just confuses me that such comments are considered "conversation starters".<BR/><BR/>What kills me is when I begin teaching adjectives in the elementary classroom and all of the students tell me that this one girl in the room is very fat. This girl, instead of crying like one might in America, looks at me with indifferent eyes and says "Yea, I'm a little fat."<BR/><BR/>Sticks and stones, I guess. They must have a much better grasp of it here in China, though.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491088023973371313.post-21202433839400660072008-12-08T13:19:00.000+08:002008-12-08T13:19:00.000+08:00yeah I know u guys are right.. I just wanted to sh...yeah I know u guys are right.. I just wanted to share this story as I find it kind of interesting that I was told I had put on weight, and rather than just feeling like a pig, I looked into it and realised I hadn't. So... No need to feel bad about comments like this in China I sps.. Next time they tell me I am just going to shrug my shoulders and say:<BR/><BR/>"Yeah, so have u!"<BR/><BR/>...with a big smile. Since we are such buddies they won't mind will they??! <BR/><BR/>Flyingfish -swelling/being bloated is awful. I had a lot of problem w that before but since I moved to China it has more or less vanished.. thank lord. I feel for u!Jonna Wibeliushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08954672453008704738noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491088023973371313.post-32000318378031688852008-12-08T10:05:00.000+08:002008-12-08T10:05:00.000+08:00Like everyone else, I think their comments were ju...Like everyone else, I think their comments were just a way of being "friendly" with you, but I know I would be pretty ticked off too, culture gap or no culture gap!<BR/><BR/>I once had a boyfriend (Chinese) tell me I had lost weight and then tell me I had gained weight all in the course of 5 minutes! I felt like slugging him! In fact, I had neither lost nor gained weight: I was swollen (something which happens to me a lot, unfortunately).<BR/><BR/>I bet it was a combination of slight swelling and some loss of tone that made you look a tiny bit heavier -- and those guys at the gym made the most of that tiny bit! Maybe you've been getting more sodium than usual without realizing it? <BR/><BR/>Anyway, good luck getting back to your normal self. I am sure it won't take long!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491088023973371313.post-5283899305420876092008-12-08T09:57:00.000+08:002008-12-08T09:57:00.000+08:00I think it's just the usual Chinese logic. You ha...I think it's just the usual Chinese logic. You haven't been for a while so you MUST have put on weight, just like it's December so it MUST be cold and people dress according to the calendar and not according to the actual temperature. Okay, December is a bad example because it is actually cold, but let's say early November, when it wasn't. Plus I guess it's part making conversation so I would not read too much in to it, seriously, you look fine!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491088023973371313.post-50976125094664393772008-12-08T08:33:00.000+08:002008-12-08T08:33:00.000+08:00I think it's simply because talking abt weight is ...I think it's simply because talking abt weight is not a big thing in china at all, just as the English like to talk about wthe eather, the chinese people may talk abt weight to start a conversation. You may feel offended because you are not a chinese.(young morden chinese girls may feel offended too, since this talking habit is gradually out-dated, and your trainers come from the countryside)<BR/>Also, i think the chiense talk of weight is way of expressing friendness, because we only judge our friends' weight in front of them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491088023973371313.post-41364323710435833382008-12-08T08:29:00.000+08:002008-12-08T08:29:00.000+08:00I think it's mostly 1 with a bit of 2. And a gym i...I think it's mostly 1 with a bit of 2. And a gym is still a business. Maybe they're trying to use scare tactics to keep you coming.<BR/><BR/>The Chinese seem to innately know how to time their comments to really throw you off. They never come when at a time when you can take them. It's always at a moment to make thing feel weird.Ramblerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04970820416149325402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8491088023973371313.post-22227982192503881922008-12-08T06:21:00.000+08:002008-12-08T06:21:00.000+08:00I think it's combination of theory 1 and 2. I know...I think it's combination of theory 1 and 2. I know it's stupid, but I believe they don't meant to offend you. It's a typical Chinese culture.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com