Chasing dreams

For a long time, being able to communicate in Chinese language was a dream of mine, and when this photo was taken, it was a very far-fetched one. Now, however, I actually do speak Chinese and I use it every single day at work. It's time to start chasing new dreams.

I’ve been dreading to write this post, that’s why I have neglected my blog for the last few weeks.

When I turned 29 on August 15, I hit a milestone, namely 5 years in China. On September 11 (which I know is a very sad day for most people) I’ll hit another one: 10 years of living abroad. That’s more than one third of my life, and pretty much my whole adult life (so far).

I’ve been thinking a lot about everything I’ve been doing for the last 10 years abroad/5 years in China, and I look back at most of it with joy. I don’t have any real regrets, just some “I wonder what would have happened if I would have done this instead of that….” But I believe that’s pretty normal.

Next year I turn 30, and it feels as if I’ll enter a new era of my life (might sound cheesy, but that’s how I feel about it). I will leave my 20-ies with some sadness. It has been 10 pretty amazing years of living abroad and getting to know myself through my adventures and experiences in different countries, not to mention my interactions with people from different backgrounds and cultures. I’ve met some pretty amazing individuals over the years, some of which I still consider my closest friends. All in all, life in the 20ies has been pretty d*** good.

However, in order to make the most of this “final year,” I thought I’d make an effort to do something a little bit special. Something for me, like fulfilling a far-fetched dream of mine. So, some days before I turned 29 I started making a list of things I wanted to do before turning 30.

Seeing that I’m a bit of a list abuser (I make lists of food I want to eat, and at work I am know as being a “list person” too as my “to do” lists have been passed around more than once) I made an endless list, including all kinds of silly things I wanted to do before turning 30, like “trying 50 new restaurants in Shanghai!” and “wake up with a smile of my face at least 70% of the time.”

In order not to come across as a mad lady (unless I already have) I decided to narrow it down to three big things. Three dreams that I wish to fulfil before August 15, 2012. And those are:

* Run a full marathon (and at least one more half)

* Visit all 4 countries that I’ve referred to as “home” during the last 10 years

* Write a book

So, there you go. My list. My dreams. My goals. Shouldn’t be that hard to accomplish, right?

Pretty much all of my friends laughed when I mentioned the marathon, but nodded when I said I wanted to write a book (it’s not the first time I mention it to them, as it has been my dream for as long as I can remember, I actually “announced it” to my folks at the age of 10 when we were having dinner. Then they told me I should become a journalist first, as one simply can't just “become” a published writer).

Me, on the other hand, think the book is the scary part. Running is just running, and although I’ve had a sore hip for 2 months now and haven’t been able to run the miles I should run every week (but I do other training instead, and I’m training pretty hard, 4-5 times/week so I believe I’m keeping fit still), that doesn’t worry me too much. If it’s something I have it’s physical willpower –and I’m good at pushing myself when it comes to challenges. I might not finish within 4 hours, but (unless this hip continues to torture me all year long) I will finish the race, even though it might be painful.

The book, on the other hand… is another story. Since it’s been a dream of mine for so long there’s a bit of sentimental attachment to it. It’s super scary, and there’s constantly this fear of failure going on in my head. But as a wise friend told me:

-You cannot fail something unless you’ve tried.

So I better keep trying.

And this is when blogging comes into the picture. How do I make time for that? I already have a full-time job, I always come home late at night (since I do my workouts pretty much every day after work), and my best time for writing (when my brain is feeling fresh and creative) is during the very early mornings (which is the time slot that has been devoted to my blog for the last 4 or so years).

So, now you see how this equation isn’t adding up.

And now you know why I haven’t been updating my blog for the last few weeks.

I still don’t want to say “OK, so this is it, I’m closing down, bye bye, thanks for reading all these years! (and all of you who left me nasty, anonymous comments or abusive email, now you might as well disappear from this platform forever!)” because who knows: maybe I won’t fulfil my dream. Maybe I will be back. Maybe I’ll miss blogging too much. Maybe I’ll simply give up and go back to what has been my daily routine for the last few years.

So, this is not a goodbye.

But a see you later.

And I promise, regardless if I succeed or fail, to come back and update this blog on how I did with my three big “to dos” before August 15, 2012. And who knows. Maybe also along the way.

Until then.

Back in the buzz

Dear city how I've missed you!

Back in Shanghai after a looong holiday. Almost too long. I get way too lazy when my life lacks structure. But I’ve had a wonderful time in Finland and Sweden, and as soon as I get around to connecting my camera with a missing cable (…) I will upload a holiday photo special.

But like I said, now I’m back. Back in our old (or new, because we moved in here one week before we went on our holiday!) flat, back in the humid heat, enjoying the noises, smell and atmosphere of being back. It’s actually pretty wonderful! I’ve missed China. I've missed my friends and I've missed the food. But most of all, I've missed the life we have here. The every day life where anything is possible and nothing is predictable. Sure, it can be frustrating at times but most of the time it's kind of fun. Also, this time, the humid heat wave that hit me when I stepped out of the airport terminal and into the taxi did not make me feel like running back inside and hiding on the plane (I’m not going to lie, sometimes it does).

Instead, we decided to embrace being back. So, yesterday we did stuff like we normally never do here in China. We went grocery shopping, we cleaned, and, we went to Ikea! Yeah! Ikea on a Sunday –after not having slept for some 48 hours (since I am sometimes struggling with sleeping in a bed, sleeping on a plane is completely out of the question. I have even stopped trying) we decided that Ikea would be the perfect choice. We were so spaced out, so tired and so out of it that we couldn’t have cared less about pushing ourselves through throngs of people on a regular Ikea Sunday in Shanghai. Good times. And now our flat looks so a lot nicer than before (although I’m glad we didn’t do all of our “must do” Ikea shopping last night because we came home with cushions in the wrong colour –as we in the store remembered our couch as blue. In reality, however, it’s gray. We also couldn’t remember the colour of our couch table so in the end we couldn’t get half of the stuff we set out to do).

A funny thing that I realised yesterday when I used my Chinese again, after a month’s break, was how bad it must have gotten. Because, for the first time in I don’t know how long, people made comments about it. The fruit man in the grocery store, our security guard at the door (that laughed at us when we emptied our over filled mail box and bills literally fell out on the floor) the girl at the counter at Ikea… they all wanted to know how long I had been in China for, if I liked it here, and told me that my Chinese was everything from 还可以 (OK) to 很好 (very good). I've been told that when people say your Chinese is "OK" it is also a nice way of saying: “good effort but you’ve got some improvements to do!”

Now I’m off to the office and after 1 month away I am guessing I’m in for a super duper busy day with an over full inbox and some 82684962349 meetings I need to book. Oh, and did I mention it’s my birthday? Yeah, today I turn 29! What better way to kick start my last year in the twenties?

The annual Swedish crayfish party...

....started off in a quite calm, friendly, and sophisticated manner

Then I'm not quite sure what happened, but I guess everyone's true colours came out.

Until next year!

How to find an apartment in Shanghai

Our first flat in Shanghai -quite nice one. Just located in the completely wrong part of the city -and as a result we had to spend 2 hour commuting every day. Oh, little did we know back then!

I just checked my blog email and saw two new emails from two different people about to move to Shanghai, asking me the same things:

-How do I find an apartment in Shanghai?
-How much should I pay for it?

Now, those are big questions, but since they came at the same time, and I’ve promised to answer blog enquiries during my holiday, I thought this could be worth a blog post.

Since I just completed a 2,5 month frustrating flat hunt, I believe that we can all agree that I am far from an expert on how to find accommodation fast. However, during my search for the perfect crib, I came across several different ways of searching for a place:

Finding a flat

There are several Eng and Chi websites offering housing advertisement in Shanghai these days:
Craigslist has a lot of listings, however, often lacks photos.

Then there is a housing section on smartshanghai, which is great as the housing ads offer both photos and map of where the apartment is located (+ links to several real estate companies), however, I have to say that the flats you see in the photos of the ads, and the flats that you go and see are often not the same. Also, I think a lot of the agencies posting on smartshanghai (not all of them though!) are keen to help wealthy laowais with expat packages. Having said that, however, there are still some really good ones and if you’re looking for shared accommodation, I believe this is a great place to look.

Another good site/forum that can help any Shanghai newbie with getting his/her question answered is Shanghai Expat.

Get an account, browse the topics, and fire away! I was a frequent user of this forum when I first moved to Shanghai, posting questions about everything from where to buy soy milk to how to find a basketball team.

If you master the Chinese language, you might want to take the advice of CNNGo and look for a flat on some of the local pages. Here’s the article that lists some of the big ones.

Another option (and my personal favourite choice) is to simply walk around in the area where you wish to live, and visit real estate agencies located in that area. Tell them your budget as well as your demands (one bedroom, two bedrooms, old house, new building… etc) and they can normally take you to see some places straight away. One thing I learned from my latest flat hunt was to stick to one or max 2 agencies, otherwise it might get too confusing, not to mention messy.

Don’t forget to bargain with the landlord. Ask for new furniture if you need, a lower rent, or whatever requirement you might have. Negotiating things like rent and furniture is a normal part of renting in China. Never just settle for what the landlord just tells you (unless you think the deal is already good enough).

Now, moving on to the second question:

How much should I pay?

This question is impossible for me to answer! It depends where you want to live (central areas, like Huangpu and Xuhui and Jing’an are normally more expensive than Pudong, Minhang, and Hongqiao), how big of a flat you want, what kind of furniture and decoration you need, an many other things. You simply have to set a limit for yourself and try your luck. You will notice quite soon if your budget is enough or not.

And finally…

Where should I live?

Having lived in 3 different areas in Shanghai: a six month stunt in Pudong, 2,5 years in Xuhui, and now 1 month in Huangpu (or old Luwan) –I can only tell you one thing: live close to your office/school, or, close to your mean of public transport. It makes life much easier and convenient because trust me, you don’t want to spend hours on commuting every day.

I hope this helps! Happy flat hunting.

Connected again

Sorry for the lack of updates –but now I’m finally back on track! Yesterday we celebrated 1 week (!) in our new flat, and we did that by having China Mobile guys over, installing the Internet. So now I can blog and read my emails again together with my morning coffee. Heaven!

I am so happy about our move of house. For the last week or so I’ve slept better than I’ve had for the last 6 months. It’s amazing. It’s like getting my old life back: I feel energetic, I feel happy, I feel healthy and I feel like myself. It’s like winning the lottery and the price is my own health.

Another great thing about finally have moved is that we no longer need to spend the wknds looking at apartments. Maybe it’s us being picky (and yes, I know it is), but since the beginning of May I believe we have spent every single wknd flat hunting. So darn boring, frustrating an uninspiring. Now we ended up in an area that we first would have never accepted, but I feel happy here. I can walk to my office (although it’s a bit hot to do so at the moment) and walk home after the gym. For someone that has been dependent on the metro for the last 1,5 year, that’s a nice and welcomed change.

Moving out of our old flat went surprisingly well, however, not without some compulsory weird comments. Shanghainese landlords are known for being tough cookies and trying their outmost to keep your deposit, regardless of how rosy and good you’re relationship has been. Our landlord, however, took a different approach. We told him that we had loved living in the flat and the only reason we wanted to move was the nightclub noise from the street below, resulting in me not getting any sleep. He nodded thoughtfully, walked into the flat, looked around, smiled, then looked at me and said:

-Gosh Jonna, getting no sleep must have been hard for you, but it also must have made you eat less because you have really lost some weight.

Then he smiled and handed over the deposit (every single little kuai!), and thanked us for being such great tenant.

We were so stoked about getting our money back that we didn’t even care to comment on the unnecessary weight remark. Besides, for once someone didn’t call me fat, so it actually didn’t hurt that badly.

Our new landlord seems cool and quite easy going so far. He’s already been over once to look at our heater, that seems to be leaking gas:

-It’s the heavy wind that has been blowing for the last few days, he finally told us.

-The… wind? But… it’s leaking gas?! When we shower!

-Yeah, and it’s because of the wind!

-Eh…right.

Yeah, not sure if I’m buying that story, especially since it hasn’t been a storm out there or so to say. But in a few days we are going on a holiday so we thought we’d leave it there and deal with it when we come back again.

All in all –life is good. I can sleep. I like our new place. A holiday is around the corner. And hopefully, some exciting things are going to happen in the near future.

Bruised shoulders after a painful rub

Lately my back has been feeling kind of stiff, so yesterday after work I decided to skip the gym and head for a massage. Massage for me is something I often talk about, but seldom do. Every time I have visitors in town and take them for massage (and they ohh and ahhh over the low prices and the quality of massage) I think to myself: “Damn, this is good! I should do this on a regular basis now when I actually live in a country where it’s good and it doesn’t cost a fortune.” However, as soon as the friends depart I forget all about my promise to myself and my shoulders.

Since my sleeping pattern (still) is a bit off, I thought that maybe a massage could help me relax. So, I went to a place and told the masseuse (a young, Chinese guy) to focus on the stiff areas and knots of my shoulders and back.

-Don’t worry about doing some kind of massage routine where you massage every single part! I added, maybe a wee bit too confidently. I just want you to focus on the problem areas!

Fifteen minutes later I was on a massage bench, head facing down, tears pouring down my cheeks.

-Tell me if it’s too much pressure! I'm just focussing on the problem areas! The guy whispered.

I tried hard to endure it, thinking that “sometimes pain is necessary” and “maybe this is actually good for me? Who said that a massage should always be pleasant?” but then after a while I thought I was going to faint of the pain and had to tell the guy to be a little bit softer.

-Oh, haha, well, you’re so stiff…

(Ya, just rub it in will you?)

-Do you work a lot in front of the computer… he went on.

-I… I’ve actually had some problems sleeping lately, and I think it’s because I’m too tense… I started, and once I started it was as if I’d open a tap. It all just flowed out of me.

The guy listened carefully, while he kept rubbing my shoulders, making it really hard for me not to scream out loud out of pure and utter pain.

-Well if you have sleeping problems you shouldn’t do shoulder massage, you should do foot massage! He finally said.

-Really?

-Really! It can help!

Thirty painful minutes later it was over, and the guy asked me to sit up.

-Here, he said, and handed me a pair of slippers. A gift to you. I hope you can sleep tonight. If not, come back tomorrow for some foot massage!

-Eh, thanks.

As I walked home, slippers in hand, my shoulders felt as if they had been abused. This morning they are actually bruised, shifting in the colours of red, purple and blue and they still hurts as h***.

But… I fell asleep last night! Without the help of any melatonin and without tossing and turning for hours. So who knows. Maybe that painful massage did help? I’ve already decided not to do it again though. Not worth the pain. I mean, I can forget about body pump tonight. Just the thought of putting a weight bar or any kind of pressure on my shoulder makes me shiver. Next time I’ll try a foot massage. Has anyone with sleeping issues ever had any experience of that being able to help?

The horrible flat hunt

Finding a new apartment in this city is a nightmare. We have been looking for a month now, and so far we haven’t seen anything we like. If it’s not too dirty, it’s too expensive or too far away from the areas where we want to live.

For a long time we were looking for something in Luwan, but since our budget is far from unlimited we’ve given up on that area. With what we could pay we couldn’t get anything decent anyway. Most of all I wish we could stay where we are now, but with the noisy nightclubs below our complex, it’s a no can do. I’m already sleeping with double earplugs (and I still hear the music!) and now I’ve started getting problems with my ears. We HAVE to move, but there are so few good places out there… ahhh, headache!

During the month of hunting we’ve seen some of the most disgusting places ever. I seriously cannot believe how some people are living over here. Especially one apartment, that could have been good, but that was occupied by 3 foreign ladies when we visited it, was so dirty, smelly and disgusting that I felt like throwing up. They were literally living in their own filth. Yuk! It didn’t matter that the agent reassured us that the flat would be cleaned throughout when they moved out, that image of stains, dirty underwear and piles of unwashed dishes still lingered in my brain for days.

We’ve had some real interesting encounters with agents too, simply by making the mistake of using too many. At one point we went with one agent in the morning, and had another appointment with a second one at midday. However, the first agent ended up taking us to the apartment that we were supposed to see with the second agent (who was downstairs waiting for us!). When I realized the mix-up I called the second agent and explained, and he was furious! He came upstairs and started a fight with the first agent, and then started yelling at us that if we were to rent this flat, we HAD to use him. Eh…. Right. Not the way you get customers if you ask me. We ended up turning away from both agents, as they both harassed us with phone calls for days after the incident. Funny that none of them even thought of blaming the landlord, who had obviously contacted several agents in order to get his/her flat rented out.

Anyway, we still have another month or so on our current lease, and now I’ve gone back to my old agent from when I first moved to Shanghai from Suzhou in 2010. He still calls me “Youla” and he’s still the best agent I’ve come across (honest, straight-faced and with a no-bullshit attitude) over here, however, the fact that there is not much decent stuff out there is an obvious problem, so let’s see how it goes.

I’m keen to find a clean, simple and quiet place where I can stay for a LONG TIME so that I don’t have to do this all over again. Flat hunting is simply horrible.

Table Tennis Festival in pictures

Persson playing a Chinese rising star (he got to play some professional kids in a knock-out tournament and then the winner got a game with him. Some of those kids were pretty good!).

Here playing against the winner of the men's tournament: a 60 year old guy from Ericsson. He was so happy, and I believe so was Persson. A joy to watch their last game.

Jörgen Persson -约尔根·佩尔森 in Shanghai!

Yes, it was Jörgen Persson that was in China for a China Sweden Table Tennis Festival that we arranged in order to celebrate the Swedish National Day! Some 200 players from different Swedish companies battled in an elimination tournament throughout the day, and then the winners (one man and one woman) got to play Persson in the final game. A long day of great fun, Persson proved to be not only a great player, but also a great person, open and happy and up for posing for photos, signing shirts and rackets and answering questions from media as well as random spectators. What a great athlete! I admire someone that can be so professional and high level, and still so friendly and down to earth.

Also, I got invited to the Table Tennis: 2011 China Open - that takes place in Suzhou in the end of August. Can't wait to see Persson in real action (no offense to the competitors of today's tournament, but I think he has more to give). Being 45 years old this year, Persson should have retired many times around but he's still playing, he's even qualified for the London Olympics in 2012. That will be his 7th Olympic Games. 加油！

Some videos of Persson in action to come soon!

Self check-in/bag drops -not really up to date just yet...

Things can move slow at airports in China..

Last week when we were flying to Xi’an, I was pleased when we arrived at Pudong airport and saw that China Eastern had self check-in stations (as usual in China, the lines to the check-in counters were pretty long). Although the stations were only in Chinese it was pretty straightforward and we quickly managed to put our information, pick our seats and print our boarding cards (but not bag tags, those you weren’t able to print).

Mom and dad had a bag they needed to check in, so we located a counter that said “bag drop” and lined up. There was a huge line to this counter, and first I thought it was some kind of misunderstanding. Were all of these people really lining up just to drop off their bags?

They sure were. All of us in the looooong line were holding on to our boarding cards, impatiently glancing at our watches and staring at the actual bag drop counter where action seemed to be very sloooooow.

Actually, I don't understand how it could take so long for people to “drop” their bag. We ended up standing in the line for 45 minutes! I even realized that the people that were lining up at the normal “check in” line –got served much faster than us! When it was finally our turn we were a bit stressed (we had planned to grab a quick dinner at the airport before take-off) and I even asked the girl at the counter what was taking so long. She didn’t answer (I wasn’t expecting her to either) but the security scan of that one suitcase of ours took ages. We ended up at our gate 15 minutes before boarding (which is pretty weird, we had arrived at the airport well in time for everything –just flying domestic) and had to speed-eat some noodles at a small snack corner.

When we were flying back from Xi’an the situation were even more obscure. They had plenty of self check-in stations, but not a single bag drop counter. I went around and asked several pretty “China Eastern” female staff but they all looked at me as if I was talking about aliens when I asked where we could drop our bags. So we had to line up at the normal check-in counter even though we had already checked in. Turns out it went much faster than lining up for a bag drop counter anyway.

I guess self check-in counters in China mainly targets those that travel with only a hand luggage (and man, is that a popular thing to do in China?! There seem to be no restrictions in terms of how big your hand luggage can actually be, because people drag suit like sized bags on the plane and then complain when they cannot fit it into the overhead locker) and not those who actually have a bag to check in. Good to know until next time.

It's a family affair

"Royal" visitors out of their comfort zone

Forgive my absence, but I’m hosting a delegation, much more important than all those royalties and ministers I met last year, and it’s taking up pretty much all of my free time: yes, of course, my parents are in town!

The world’s cutest (in my eyes!) mom and dad landed a few days ago and are keeping me busy with all kinds of funny questions and comments about everything. Yesterday when I had to go to work they called me when I was in the middle of a meeting:

-Hey, we are standing in a crossing and we don’t know where we are.

-Eh… right. Now, do you see any names of streets or anything around you?

-Naaah, it’s kind of confusing to tell you the truth.

-I see…

Not to mention the fact that my mom constantly seems to be forgetting that I don’t actually live here as a tourist:

-So does the hotel breakfast have any yoghurt?

-I don’t know mom, I’ve never eaten it.

-Yeah, but what about normally over here?

-I don’t normally stay at hotels in China…

Dad, on the other hand, is more of a silent observer, although every now and then he springs to life with one of his genius comments:

-Look! They are all riding electric bikes! And then they recharge the bikes! And if they want to speed up they pedal… This is fantastic! Why don’t we have these kind of electric bikes back home? How come you’ve never brought one home with you?

-Eh… dad, they are kind of heavy and big…

-Yeah but they are fantastic! You HAVE to bring one of those to Sweden at some point. Actually, my birthday is coming up….!

-Riiiiiight…

The other day they told me they wanted to see an acrobatic show that my sister and her hubby raved about after their last China visit:

-Sure, but we’ve already seen it. Do you mind going by yourself? I'll help you get the tickets and everything...

Long, pregnant silence and hurtful, accusing eyes.

-What am I saying?! OF COURSE we should go together!!! I don’t mind watching it again!!!

-Excellent!

On Wednesday night we will depart Shanghai to visit a new place for all of us. I seriously cannot wait, as it’s getting hard to come up with new things to do in Shanghai (this is mom’s fourth China visit and dad’s second). However, mom and dad are, of course, slightly worried:

-We saw on the news that there are storms in southern China!

-Yeah, so then it’s good that we are not going to the south…

-But up north there are sandstorms!!!

-Not where we are going, I’m sure.

-How can you be sure?! I’m sure that there will be sandstorms. We should pack umbrellas. Do you have a spare one that we can borrow?

-If it makes you feel any better…

-Excellent!

(Wanna make a bet with me about those sandstorms? Yeah, I didn’t think so either. And no, we are not going to Inner Mongolia!).

Before we leave, however, mom and dad will come and visit me at work, something that they have prepared for and been excited about, for a very long time. They have even packed special outfits that they are going to wear when walking into my office. I got all touched and teary eyed when they told me.

-Well of course, mom said, as if it was the most obvious thing ever. When coming from so far away we are ought to make a good impression!

Awwww! Can you love two people more?!

Noir&Blanc at Shanghai Fashion Week 2011

I had the most amazing day yesterday! One week of hard work finally saw its results when Swedish Noir&Blanc showed at Shanghai Fashion Week, followed by a high heel after party at Göte Göta store.

The Noir&Blanc fashion show was fantastic. The designers teamed up with dance club Jazz du Funk and did a pretty exquisite cross over show that opened and closed with a dance sequence called “Black Sun” (see the video at the end of this post for the short closing performance, mind the shaky video, as I was applauding while filming –multi tasking, you know!). The dance worked super well with the actual collection: Ethnic Euphoria, which is about tradition and ethnic symbols, pattern-mania, knitted influences and draped fabrics.

The after party saw Kosta Boda Crystal Catwalk collection, live wei-boing (twittering) from 163.com (I did an interpretation stunt: Eng-Chi for one of the interviews), as well as high heel painting by Chinese as well as Swedish artists (see the second video of how Göran Kling is painting his pair). The shoes were then auctioned off and the money went to charity. All in all –a super night spent with some super people. I’m still high of happiness.

After party at Göte Göta store: good times with an awesome group of people!

Freshly pained shoes by Göran Kling

Petra and Linnea (of Noir&Blanc) and Göran Kling -who did the jewelry for the show.

The language roller coaster

Back to school? No thanks!

Yesterday I had a bit of a bad day with everything going wrong… And when there are many bumps on the road you know what it’s like: You start creating yourself invisible bumps. At least is your name starts with a J and ends with ONNA.

So, yesterday I started thinking that on top of everything else that went downhill, my Chinese had gotten all bad, as I now don’t study the language on a regular basis anymore. I speak Chinese with my Chinese co-workers on a daily basis (my closest colleague is Chinese), and I have a lot of meetings and phone calls in Chinese. But from time to time I forget words/vocabulary that I used to know, and that frustrates me. Some days it pops back into my head, but I cannot get around the scary thought of: “think if I just get worse and worse and suddenly forget everything that I worked so hard to learn!” I know it’s a kind of ridiculous thought, but I think you know what I mean.

So, yesterday, in between bad thing 1 and bad thing 2, I decided to bite the bullet and asked my colleague what she thought of my language skills:

-I think everything, your writing, reading and speaking skills, are better today compared to when we first met (about 1 year ago), she said, which made me do 10 joyful jumping jacks at the spot (I sincerely hope she wasn’t just being nice).

I walked off feeling happy, until I received a phone call in Chinese. I was chatting on for a while until the guy I was talking to suddenly changed the topic into something I couldn’t understand. I made a guess, and it was wrong… and as a result… he switched to English.

I felt mortified. Even though the topic was a bit out of my league (environmental science) I couldn’t get over the fact that I couldn’t keep up the conversation in Chinese and that he felt he had to change to English.

…and this is how I go on these days. I’m on a high for a while, just to drop into a low as soon as I hit an unfamiliar language spot. I have tried to find time to study (I took lessons for a while last fall, but had to stop during the end of the Expo as I simply couldn’t find the time), and since then I haven’t really managed to fit it into my schedule. I prioritize health over pretty much everything else, because I know that I don’t feel good if I don’t do my workouts. But now I’m going to start with weekend language lessons instead of weekday lessons, as maybe it will become easier to keep the focus when you haven’t just spent 8 hours in front on the computer in the office.

I’ve been considering getting a language partner, but then I speak so much Chinese during the days that it almost feels unnecessary. Or… maybe not? Maybe I am stuck in the same, daily vocab with my workmates, and a language partner could challenge me in a different way? Then I think that my spoken Chinese is probably much better than my writing/reading skills, so I should probably practice that… which is something I cannot do via a language partner, but something I can do by simply picking up a newspaper on a more regular basis/keeping a diary in Chinese. Sounds easy, right? And trust me, I’ve tried. But for some reasons it’s very hard to motivate myself when there is no teacher pushing me.

It’s funny, with languages, because some days (or not days, it’s more like some weeks, as it goes in phases) I feel that I’m on top of everything: that I get on really well in terms of communicating with Chinese people, and that I have no big problems neither in my professional nor my private life over here. Then suddenly comes that low when my tones goes wrong (and I can hear it as I speak), I cannot find the words, and I find myself staring at the same character, wondering why I suddenly don’t remember it, because some days ago I recognized it.

I wonder if I will ever come to a point where I feel confident and comfortable with Chinese on an every day basis and not worry so much. Probably not.

One of the best things I've done

People back in Europe or the US (that haven’t been to China) often have the wrong kind of image of Chinese people. Many people seem to think that all that Chinese people ever do –is to cheat foreigners. I often get questions from friends or people that are coming here for a visit, wondering how alert they should be for “scams” and such. And sure, there are some infamous scams (like “art students from Beijing/Xi’an/Suzhou who try to sell you their crappy paintings after befriending you on the street” –but you easy learn how to spot those ones), and every now and then a taxi driver will make one extra turn in order to earn some extra kuais (I have to say though, that I don’t think taxi drivers are bad guys. They are often helpful and friendly and keen to get you where you want as fast as possible. For their own sake as much as yours), but generally speaking, I don’t think people here cheat you that much.

Yesterday was a day when I realized how awesome Chinese people really are. I first had a great day at work, chatting to my Chinese colleagues that I like a lot, and then went for a haircut –I have been going to the same Chinese girl since I came here, so for soon 5 years. About 1 year ago she discovered that I can speak Mandarin, and since then it’s been a pleasure to go for a trim. I don’t even have to tell her what I want her to do with my hair –she already knows. And she does those small little extra things for you that a hairdresser back home would never do. Also, she works together with her sister and brother (biological) and they are all just lovely, friendly and helpful –without being too much. When I left them last night they were all standing together, waving me off with big smiles on their faces.

On my way back I passed a fruit stand and decided to get some bananas. It was an old, Chinese man selling the fruit, and he watched me with an amused expression on his face. Every time I touched a fruit, he ran up to me, touching the same fruit, and telling me its name in Chinese. “I know, I know!” I finally said in Chinese with a smile, and that resulted in his amused expression turning into a delighted one.

I ended up buying heaps of stuff, strawberries, bananas, kiwis… and I didn’t even ask for the price. Only when he was filling up a bag with strawberries did I ask how much they were.

-Don’t worry, I won’t charge you much.

And he didn’t. In the end he asked for 9 kuai (!). When I gave him 10 and said it was OK like that, he came running after me with 1 kuai, smiling, and telling me to come back soon again.

I walked home feeling as if I was walking on clouds –not for any specific reason: not because I bought cheap fruit or had a good haircut or because I really like my co-workers: But because I’m so happy I live here and can communicate with all of these people, and share stories with them. Yesterday my hairdresser ended up telling me about what it was like growing up in a poor village in Anhui –and it’s just so interesting and fascinating to listen to stories like that. You would think it would be a sob story –but it’s not. More often it’s a down-to-earth story of how someone who’s had very little, still has managed to make the most of it. And that’s pretty fascinating and inspiring if you ask me.

Although I’ve had my ups and downs with China (and not to mention with learning Chinese) I have to say that coming here, and especially learning this language, is one of the best things I’ve ever done.

Putting out fire

The other day I was bumming around in our flat when I suddenly felt the smell of smoke. Since our corridor is not supposed to be any kind of nightclub, I got annoyed, and opened the door to see if I could see someone smoking. I didn’t. However, at the end of the corridor I saw an open door and I heard voices, so I guessed it came from there.

“Don’t get too upset now, it’s just smoke!” I tried to calm myself with saying. But after a while the smell was everywhere in our flat and I started to get really pissed off. People over here smoke everywhere: at restaurants, in bars (no smoke ban here, no), in elevators, in taxis… everywhere! If there is somewhere where I am NOT going to be a passive smoker, it has to be in my own apartment!

With that in mind I went over to the apartment with the open door. I kept very calm when I looked in and told a group of Chinese people that I they really should not be smoking inside, and if they insisted on doing so, at least they should close their door.

-Sure, sure, sorry, sorry! They all said, and then they started calling for a man that was walking around in the corridor outside, smoking. Turns out it was HE who had made our flat stink.

Around 10 minutes later I was leaving and went out to the elevator. Straight away I felt the smell of something that’s burning. I looked in the common bin that is located next to the elevators, and very well. In the bin, the smoking man (I assume) had butted out two cigarettes in a package of cookies, however, the cigarettes were not completely out, and therefore burning the paper.

“This is how fires are started,” I thought to myself. “I don’t wanna die in a fire?!”

With that in mind I went back to the flat where I’d just been, banged the door, and decided not to hold back. I am not so good at cursing and stuff in Chinese, I think the most offensive thing I can say is something like: “Are you crazy?!” so I said that over and over again, combined with phrases about the cigarette, about fire, about not being safe, and then I tried to refer to the big fire in Jing’an in Shanghai some months ago, but I am not sure if I made sense or not.

While the smoking man was sorry and hurried out to put the cigarette out, some other men in the flat just laughed at me:

-You know what, you should call the police! Yelled one.

It took me around 15 minutes to calm down after that comment.

I don’t get it. How can people be so ignorant about things like fire over here? Is there some common sort of thinking that goes: “nah, it will never happen to me!” that everyone holds on to? I mean, the lack of seatbelts in cars is one thing: back in the 70ies in Europe there was a similar attitude towards seatbelts. But fire? I’ve been brainwashed with fire-safety drills and fire safety measurements in school for as long as I can remember. Is there no kind of common fire sense over here? How can people laugh at people that are just trying to do the right thing?

I don’t think I will get any answers to those questions anytime soon, and anyway, we have decided to move out. This old complex has its charm but it also has things I cannot put up with (the burning cigarette in the bin is just the tip of an iceberg). We won’t make a move immediately, but when our lease is up this summer we will pack up and try and find something a bit more modern.

Shanghai life's good

I’m finally back at a point where life in China feels really good again: the food tastes amazing, people are nice, and living in Shanghai feels fun and exciting.

When I got back here after our trip to Australia in the middle of January I really felt that I wanted to leave China, that I had had enough, and that I wanted to go somewhere new. But now I don’t feel that urge anymore. I know I won’t live here forever, but I am also not ready to give it all up yet. I think having highs and lows is natural, no matter where you live. Maybe it’s especially apparent when you live over here though.

I was having lunch with a western girl the other day. She is getting ready to move back to Europe in 4 months, and feels a bit torn about it. She told me that she felt ready to move back at this very moment, as she was now at a place where she really missed her hometown, but feared that she in 4 months time would change her mind again, and that when time was up, she wouldn’t want to go. I understand her 100%. Life here changes so fast, it really is a rollercoaster. A truly, madly, crazy rollercoaster, with many highs and lows. I’m not ready to get off quite yet.

So get ready for another great year in China. Love this place at the moment. Let's celebrate that with a little photo memory mix from the early days in China: 2006-2007: A hot mess of... a bit of everything!

Time management

Why are Chinese people often late for meetings and appointments? It doesn’t really make sense if you look at their education system? Having such strict educational methods in schools, I don’t think kids dare to come to class late (will they even be let in?). Is it instead so that since they are always in time when they are kids, they make up for that by being late as adults?!

For me (and many people that I know) it was the opposite way around. I was a pretty good kid, but a rebel teenager. I often came late to class. In high school, I had no what-so-ever time management when it came to catching the bus each morning to school (it was a 40 min bus ride, so I kind of had to be on time otherwise I would be very late for class). I’ve given my poor folks so much headache over the years, running down the stairs every the morning, yelling for dad that he needed to give me a ride to the bus (I lived about a 15 min bike ride from the bus stop too, so my non-existent time management skills were not really making matters easy for anyone), having him sometimes refusing, and sometimes giving in. One of my friends, Mia, was a tad bit worse. She always missed the bus. As a result, her dad had to take her in a car and ride behind the bus, and then hopefully manage to overtake it, speed for a bit, and drop her off before the bus hit the next bus stop. Mia and I also played in the same basketball team, and every time we had a game our coach used to tell her that it started 1 hour before it actually did. That was, she would miss the warm-up, but at least be in time for the first half.

Now, as a “grownup” (well at least I do try very hard to fit into that category) I am hardly never late for meetings or appointments. I often think that I will be, and therefore I often send an apologetic text message, just in case, but then I’m often the first one to arrive. I have become much better at time management, so even though I think that the 20 min I have given myself to get somewhere isn’t enough –it often is. And it feels kind of good. I don’t like being late for things.

But some of my Chinese friends… Geeez, it’s almost getting to the point where I am getting annoyed. Take the other day for instance. I was stressing like a maniac to run from the yoga club to a restaurant where I was meeting some friends (mixed nationalities) at 7.30pm (my yoga class finised around 6.50pm, and I needed a shower). I thought I was going to be a bit late, so I sms:ed one of the girls just in case. Still, I managed to be there at 7.25pm. I called my Chinese girlfriend to ask how many people were coming and how big of a table we needed. When she picked up she sounded rather surprised when I said I was already at the restaurant. I could hear from the non-existent background noise that she was still at home. Still, she didn’t say anything about being late or so. The other ones dropped in at 7.30…. and then we had to wait until 8pm for our Chinese friend to come. She barely noticed herself that she was late. How is it possible?!

Not the most romantic Valentine's Day...

I’m back, after yet another unintentional blog break. This year is definitely not the year of good health of me: on Saturday night I got a stomach cramp and since then I’ve been bed bound. Valentine’s Day was spent crawling from the bed to the bathroom, vomiting and feeling as if my last moment had come.

Since I had a stomach ache for 3 days I decided to visit the hospital, just in case it would be the appendix (I know, I know, when the appendix is giving you problems you are probably so sick that you cannot even crawl, but still). The doctors took me very seriously (or is it just so that since most hospital over here are profit-driven they always wanna prescribe you loads of medicine/put you through surgery?) and ordered me to take a blood test etc. Now, at the sound of blood test I immediately started to feel queasy. I don’t know what it is, or why, but ever since I had a small operation when I was 12, I’ve been terrified of blood and needles (my mom and the doctors realized this some days before the operation when I was at the hospital to go through the procedure and the doctor was showing me a needle that was going to be put into my hand so that I could get drip via a tube. I hit the ground like a stone somewhere between “needle” and “drip.”).

Since I am perfectly aware of my fear (I basically faint every single time I have to give blood) I told the doctor AND the nurse about this, apologizing for being childish and all baby-like about it, but thinking that letting them know might make them more understanding. But, for some reason, people don’t take blood phobias seriously over here. I always tell, and still, they never listen. The nurse kept telling me to squeeze this and that (I cannot even check my own pulse without feeling nauseous) and when I told her I couldn’t she asked me to sit up and drink some water. Fortunately, the doctor came in as she asked me to sit, saw my white face and my body swaying, and ordered me to lie down again.

-You look like you were about to faint there for a while! He said with a laugh.

-Yes, just like I told you! I said, not laughing back.

Man, when are they going to listen? Do I have to fall down and hit my head in the stone ground so that they are going to let me lie down the next time for more than 30 seconds? I’m actually not sure.

Anyway, after my little faint scare I had to wait for my result for 40 minutes (!) feeling like I was about to throw up in a hospital smelling waiting room. Then I was told it wasn’t the appendix (phew!), but some other infection, got prescribed antibiotics and was sent home. Now let’s hope for a quick recovery so that I can start working out again. Feels like ages ago. Cannot believe that I once used to describe myself as sporty. I’m a far cry from being fit right now. Very sad.

Travelling during CNY -heaven!

I got a big surprise when I flew back to China on Feb 3, during the Chinese New Year, and realized that the plane was almost empty. When we were about to take off from Helsinki the captain came out to the cabin, and said: “OK people, welcome to your private jet that will take you to Shanghai!” with a big smile.

We were a total of 33 passengers on a huge Finnair plane that has a capacity of hundreds of people. Although I see myself as a social creature, I have to admit that it was F A N T A S T I C to be on a plane with so few people! The air stewardess were super friendly, giving us extra snacks and telling us that we could move around as much as we wanted (but then gently stopping a passenger that was on his way to business class). One little Chinese boy got so excited he wanted to try every single free seat in the plane (!) and ran around and made a mess.

Once we landed in Shanghai it was the same thing: no lines to the immigration counters, and the bags came after 5 minutes.

I had friends flying to Shanghai from Hong Kong and from London, and then another one going from Shanghai to Sweden via Moscow around the same time and they had similar experiences. So, if you prefer a flight with a minimum of people/heaps of legroom, I can definitely recommend you to fly during the Chinese New Year. Tickets around that time are cheap too. Sweet!

Immigration point at Pudong airport, Shanghai -no lines. No people

Lost at home

Can something be more crystal clear? I don't think so!

One thing that amazed me in Sweden was how badly equipped Stockholm city is for foreigners! All signs are in Swedish –and that’s not always easy to understand. Like, how is a non-Swedish-spoken person going to understand that “utgång” means exit?! I’m so used to China where there are signs for a lot of things in both Chinese/English, and sometimes even pictures.

Fortunately Swedes are pretty nice if you ask them for directions… if you are a foreigner. If you’re a Swede asking the wrong kind of Swede though… naaaah, not so much! So, sometimes when I’m in Sweden and get lost I ask people for directions in English. Works like a charm!

Speaking of getting lost, I have to admit that I feel a bit out of place when I am in Sweden. For instance, I never know how to order food in restaurants. You’re supposed to sit there and wait, and then discreetly give the waiter a meaningful look that says “yes, I’d like to order now!” and then the waiter is supposed to come up to your table and take your order? But what if the waiter never looks your way? Then you have to sit there and look hungry and meaningful for an hour because god forbid, you cannot put your hand in the air!

I have to say I prefer the Chinese way where you can call for the waiter or simply make a small wave without it being considered a rude gesture.