Home sweet home

One of the best things about living abroad is coming home. Home to the family. To friends. To a fridge full of comfort food. And a backyard full of memories.

Yesterday when I went for a run it hit me that I haven’t enjoyed an autumn in Sweden since the year 2000. I’d almost forgotten about how beautiful the forests get when they trees’ leaves change colour. Every time I’m home and start picking up my running miles, I fall back in love with running again. In China, it’s a “must do” as I don’t want to stop something I once used to love (although I often experience difficulties when it comes to motivation), but over here, it’s almost fun. I don’t even think about the fact that I am running while I am out there. Rather, I’m too busy thinking about other things, breathing the fresh air, enjoying the scenery and listening to music. It’s strange that I cannot get the same feeling while running in China, after all, it’s not rocket science we are talking about. But, I guess that’s just how it is. (which has also made me realize that there is no point dreaming of running a full marathon as long as I live in China. That dream will just have to wait).

I always feel kind of “fluffy” while over here. I tend to go home at least once/year (lately it’s been twice/year) and every time I get here the same story repeats itself. Mom cooks me my favourite dishes (making me feel like a spoiled 15-year-old), and I eat more, and better food (some seriously mad salads over here, mom’s a bit of a carrot lover so the fridge has a rather impressing salad station), than I would eat even if I tried to be healthy in China.

It’s a bit weird, but kind of wonderful at the same time. I tend to go back to China with my batteries re-charged. Probably 1-2 kg heavier (I tell myself it’s a mixed result from my new running muscles –ehum- and all the yummy food) but with softer skin and hair (yeah, there’s some serious difference between the tap water in China and Sweden too, one of the biggest one being that you can drink tap water –and that it actually tastes good- in Sweden).

Hard not to be "energized" when hanging around my little brother -to the right- who's full of funny ideas...

Don’t get me wrong now (and please don’t mail bomb me now saying “if you hate China so much, why don’t you just go back?!”). I am not saying I would prefer living in Sweden to China. If I would, then I obviously would pack my bag and move home, it’s not harder than that. I enjoy the happy/energy boost a week in Sweden gives me (which normally lasts for 1 week, then it’s time to make a move), but then I’m ready to head back to China.

Like I said, one of the best things about living abroad is to go home for a (fluffy) visit.

(but thank God it’s not snowing yet…)

Surprise visit in Sweden

Since Thursday night I’ve been in Sweden. This visit was a big “secret” up until the day before yesterday when we surprised my oldest sister Nella (who’s getting married on Saturday) to have a hen’s party (that we have been planning since summer). In order not to make her suspicious about our choice of a last-minute-hen’s-party-date, some of her friends had already held a “fake hen’s party” for her the night before, so imagine her surprise (and hangover -haha!) when she arrived at her wedding venue early on Saturday morning in order to “discuss a kitchen emergency” with the chef who’d “suddenly called her” (our work of course) and found me, our other sister Charlotte, and a big bunch of her friends there waiting for her. She was so certain that I was still in China that she didn’t really click at first, but when we gave her a princess tiara and a glass of champagne she started to realize that this was the “real thing.” Hilarious!

What then followed was a day of champagne and fun. We started off at a venue called “the house of adventure” where we played some grownup physical- and mind games that included everything from climbing on walls to solving more (and less) brainy quizzes that were scattered around as different “adventure rooms” inside a large venue . Then we went to a dance club where we were given an one-hour dance session with an instructor, and in the end we were all crawling around on the floor, “bringing out our sexy and feminine personality” (?!) to the sound of The Pussycat Dolls. Oh lord that video (yes of course it was video filmed) shall never come out. But we sure had a lot of fun while dancing!




After that, one of Nella’s friends had arranged for us to have a sauna/drinking session at a hotel in town, so we went there and spent a few hours refreshing, washing up and steaming down. We then made ourselves ready (sweaty dance pants were swapped for short dresses, make up was added, hair was brushed) and went to one of the girls' house, where a 3-course dinner awaited us.

Dinner was followed by more drinks, more dancing, and then we eventuelly hit a club in town. What an amazing night! I had so much fun! The best fun was obviously to see my sister getting the princess treatment all day long, going well into her part as the “queen bee” (especially when we were dancing to the pussycat dolls). Also, the look of her face when she first saw me that morning was rather priceless!

Pussycat dolls dance
Dinner time

(It's you-need-to-wear-your-winter-coat-and-hat-freezing cold in Sweden already... Winter came early this year. Quite a change from the 25 degrees and sunshine in Suzhou that I just left)

This week is full of “wedding-must-dos,” preparations, dress fitting and you name it. I’m her maid of honour (together with my second oldest sister, Charlotte), so a lot of responsibilities (including a speech!) are in my hands. The wedding will take place on Saturday and then I’ll fly back to China next Monday.
Me and my 2 lovely sisters! ♥

How to (quickly) get out of a weight-discussion

Not sure if I’ve told you guys but I’ve gotten myself a new language partner at my new uni. This girl, Feng, is by far the youngest Chinese friend I’ve ever had and she’s really sweet. Although we’d only met once before the October holiday, this week when we caught up she gave me a mooncake. Friendly indeed.

Feng’s English is quite bad and most of her study material is written in academic English. When we meet, my job is to help her translate the texts to Chinese and explain some hard words (which sometimes isn’t easy). Since none of us has a lot of time to spare we are always rather straight to the point and mainly chat about study materials, rather than other things. However, just the other day when I was in the middle of explaining the word “significant” to her, she suddenly asked:

-Have you ever undergone a successful experience of weight loss?

-Huh? Was all I could master. Not only was her wording quite funny (she sounded like an essay), but the question was totally out of context.

- Have you ever undergone a successful experience of weight loss? She repeated.

-Eh…. No? I answered, unsure of what else to say and not really keen to move into this never-ending, completely overdone topic.

-Why not? She urged.

I sighed. I knew this wasn’t going to end here. I could either pick up the ball and throw it back, and we could talk about a woman’s lifelong wish of being thinner. Or, I could simply end it here and now.

-Well. I don't think I need to. I said. I don’t want to lose weight.

Feng’s eyes were suddenly big as bowling balls.

-Really?! You know, here in China women are supposed to be so thin! So thin!! The thinner the better! Maybe it is different where you come from?

-Maybe. I said. I don’t think weight loss is interesting.

-Well, I have successfully lost weight once! Feng went on, eyes shining.

-Oh… Okay.

-Yeah, I stopped eating breakfast… and no rice! But I hate it, because I love rice.

-That’s not nice then.

-No, but I want to be thin….

-OK, so back to the essay…. I tried.

-Do you think eating a sandwich will make me fat?

(Oh lord, there is no end to this topic is there?)

-I don’t think eating one sandwich will make you fat, I said (the girl is, as you all might have guessed, tiny).

-Do you eat sandwiches?

-Sometimes.

-But you have never lost weight?

-Never. Ever.

-And you don’t want to?

-Nope.

Those big eyes again.

-Well OK, so back to the essay….

And believe it or not guys, but then we actually went back to the essay! Topic closed. The fastest close on a weight/thin/fat discussion in China I’ve managed so far, even though I had some difficulties getting there. Still, I can’t believe I didn’t think of this earlier.

From now on I’m always going to say I don't want to lose weight.

The "sudden" use of English when I show my face around

"Beautiful day today, huh?" "Yeah, sure is!"

Fellow laowais in China, is it only me, or do you guys also notice that sometimes when you are at a public spot (like a shopping mall, or if you’re taking the bus, or waiting for the bus or something) Chinese people around you start to speak English to each other? The first time I noticed this, some 2 years ago on a bus, I simply thought it was a coincidence. There I was, sitting down at the back of the bus when I suddenly realized that the young couple behind me were discussing polite greeting phrases in English:

-So, they say: “hello, how are you today?” when we say “ni jintian hao ma?” (你今天好吗?) said the guy to the girl, and the girl repeated: “hello, how are you today?” and then they both giggled.

“How funny that they are speaking to each other in English just when I sat down” I thought to myself, until it suddenly happened again. There I was in a mall and suddenly I heard two young boys chatting next to me:

-Today it is raining outside. Yes, today the weather is bad.

Hm… right… well they weren’t looking at me, so I figured they were speaking to each other, although it didn’t really sound as if English was their first language.

But then it started to happen more frequently, like at our yard. Parents that walked behind me with their children would say things like:

-One, two, three! Say hello!!! How are you? (to their kids, though. I guess I look too giant-like and scary to be talked straight to)

But as soon as I entered my new university, I realized that the “sudden” use of English when I was around simply couldn’t be a coincidence. During week one I entered the big lunch square around lunchtime, and everywhere I turned people were saying things like:

-It is a beautiful day!

-Hello, how are you today (followed by a giggle –I still don’t know if this was meant for me, because they didn’t look at me when they said it, although I was the only laowai around so I kind of would like to think they were talking to me).

-Hello, hello, let’s eat lunch!

And then yesterday when I was having some language exchange with a young, Chinese girl at the university cafeteria, a fellow classmate of the Chinese girl suddenly showed up and had a “half English/half Chinese” conversation with her classmate, shooting curious glances at me every now and then.

I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with what they are doing. I think it is simply a way for them to seek contact. Or, maybe they are thinking something like: “maybe if she hears that I can speak English she will talk to me and I can practice my speech?” –seeing that a lot of young Chinese people are keen to practice their English today, but feel that they have a lot of chances to do so. But it’s still kind of funny, especially when they throw in comments about the weather or say things like “what a beautiful day it is.” Maybe next time I should reply something like: “it sure is.” I’m curious to see if they actually want to talk to me, or if they are just throwing phrases around for fun.

Time to work on my presentation skills

Something like this would be good. I like the applauding.

Yesterday at my Chinese Culture class one of my classmate held a presentation about jade. He spoke for about 1 hour and in the meantime he showed us a Powerpoint presentation consisting of nothing less than 98 colourful slides! Now, this guy is from Taiwan, so I find his spoken Chinese kind of hard to understand, and also, he didn’t really articulate that well… but most of all: he went into things like: the history of jade, different kinds of jade, jade carving and so on, in other words: he went way beyond my Chinese language skills.

Once he had finished all of us (his classmates) had to ask him at least one question each. It was compulsory to ask something, and not just anything, because our question was going to be graded by our fellow classmates + our teacher. We then had to grade the guy giving the presentation on two things:

1. How well he did his presentation.
2. How well he answered our question.

I felt completely out of place doing all of this. Here I’m sitting with my far-from-perfect-Chinese and I am supposed to grade some native guy doing a rather impressive presentation? Yeah, as you all might have guessed, he got a clear 10/10 from me! (I added a note saying it wouldn’t be fair to me to grade someone lower when my language skills are not that great. I hope the teachers won’t take my notes/questions too seriously).

To end the whole experience the guy had brought in his personal jade collection (!) that we then spent 10 minutes “ohhhing” and “aaaahing” over.

Pretty serious stuff, huh?

And want to know the best part?

On November 23 it’s my turn.

No, I’m not going to talk about jade (yikes!). I’m going to talk about differences/ contradictions in the western/Chinese work life/ work culture. I chose this topic because I have interviewed many Chinese people who work for western companies and I believe their views on differences are rather interesting. However, after seeing my classmate floor us all with his jade collection, I’m starting to feel rather doubtful about my presentation. For starters, I’m going to talk for 1 hour. ONE HOUR! I’m not sure that I know enough Chinese to talk for one hour straight? My classmates are going to want to kill themselves at the end of my presentation, as it can’t be fun to listen to my broken Chinese. Secondly, how am I going to do 98 powerpoint slides? All slides should be covered with my presentation in a written form. And we all know how great I am at writing in Chinese… ehum. This is a mess, a mess, a mess!

I’m feeling slightly regretful about my choice of topic. The jade guy showed us several pictures + his personal jade collection and that was a great way to break up the presentation. What have I got to show? No photos. No movie clip?

Anyways, I thought it might be worth asking if anyone knows of a movie clip or anything highlighting anything related to my topic: Chinese/Western work culture differences/contradictions? ANYTHING is appreciated. In the meanwhile, I’ll try to think of ways to get the swine flu so that I don’t have to do this presentation.

(Now I actually don't know what I am the most scared of: the half marathon on Nov 8 or the presentation on Nov 23?)

Back at the Farmer's Bank

Remember my little visit at the Farmer’s Bank -农业银行- earlier this year?

About one month ago I went back to the same bank pay the rest of my university fee. When I first came into the bank I thought I’d gone to the wrong place: this bank was bright and modern with fresh looking chairs, and green and white walls. Gone were the long lines of people coughing on each other: this place had a “press-a-button-and-get-a-number-and-then-wait-for-your-number-to-show-on-the-big-screen-line-system,’ and although I stirred up a minor chaos amongst the guards/bank clerk helpers when I walked in, most of the customers that were sitting down, bored expressions playing on their faces, did not even shoot me a look. Excellent!

Unfortunately my helper from last time (some sort of guard who helped me fill my slip) were gone and replaced by a female guard + some bank clerk helper who watched over everybody that were filling in papers to make sure they ticked the right boxes (this guy was, by far, the most stressed person I’ve ever met in China. Sweat was trickling its way down his face and his white shirt clung to his body, despite this new, made-over bank had a full blasting air con).

When he saw me I could tell he got even more stressed, looking over his shoulder to see if I had by any chance brought with me a translator. But my errand was fairly simple, and when I asked for a slip in Chinese his face lit up. He quickly presented me with the right papers and ushered me into a private corner. He then went to get me a line-number.

It was a fairly busy day at the bank so when I had finished filling my form (and the clerk had looked at it, laughed at it, taken a new one and re-filled it for me: I don’t get it, because my character handwriting is good enough for them to read and understand it, but still they always want to re-do it when they see my papers) and looked at my number I realized that I had some 20 numbers ahead of me. The bank clerk was immediately by my side and told me to wait a short moment.

-Eh, I think I will be waiting for a long time! I said, and nodded towards my number, that started with 80. Right now they were helping number 61.

-Oh no no. Just wait a short moment.

Right.

I sat down and waited. 20 minutes passed…. 30 minutes… sometime after 40 minutes, number 80 started to show on the big screen, making me a bit excited. The bank clerk, too, got really hyped.

-Soon it’s you! Soon it’s you! He came over to me to tell.

-I know. I see the numbers, I explained to him, pointing towards the huge screen, visible for people even standing outside the bank's doors.

Not enough. When number 84 showed (I was 85) the bank clerk wouldn’t let me sit down anymore. He wanted me in some sort of imaginary line, behind the person who was currently being helped. I thought it was a bit ridiculous. The whole thing with a number-line system is to avoid the queue, but I just did what I was told, resulting in giggles from fellow bank customers who probably thought I was a “silly and stressed laowai.” Oh well, that one’s on me!

And then, when number 85 finally showed on the big screen, the bank clerk STILL ran up to the bank clerk who was about to assist me and hissed:

“It’s a laowai coming, it’s a laowai coming!”

(Man, talk about making it a big deal!)

The poor bank clerk behind the glass looked so nervous when he saw me, but put on a brave smile and said:

-Good afternoon miss, how can I help you? in broken English.

I smiled and pushed my passport, the money, the slip and everything else needed under the glass.

Five minutes later we were done.

-Thank you for your help, your English is very good! I said, before I got up. The young bank clerk’s face broke into a huge smile. I seriously think I made his day.

And fair enough, becuase he made my day, by processing my request. Now I don’t have to go to the bank for a long time! Weeeee!

Although got to love this about China. Enter a place that looks a bit worn down and everything but modern, and come back 2 months later to be greeted by a completely new, shiny instalment. It almost happens over night over here.

A change of mind

"It's 25 yuan... or no, hang on, I change my mind. It's 50!"

My favourite restaurant in Suzhou is a fairly cheap and simple Sichuan restaurant. It doesn’t look anything special but the food is always top notch, the waitresses are friendly and efficient no one has ever messed up my order. None of the staff speaks a lick of English but the restaurant is still popular amongst westerners who rely on their “zhe ge/ na ge” Chinese (+ a good picture menu) to order food. All in all, it’s a simple, well-run and well-organized restaurant; the complete opposite to many other restaurants here in Suzhou.

One example of the “opposite kind of restaurants” is a western restaurant at Suzhou’s rainbow walk. I have since a long time avoided this place (especially after a slightly annoying ice cream experience that occurred earlier this year) but some of my friends still go there, and yesterday they had a quite interesting experience:

They went in, 7 guys, wanting to have an expensive, imported, 50 kuai/bottle beer each.

When all of them had finished their beers, two of the guys asked for another beer. The other 5 asked to pay.

7 new beers and the bill came.

5 of the guys protested, saying they didn’t want a second beer, but simply pay and leave.

The waiter was clueless and went to get some of his workmates.

The workmate listened to the situation, apologized, and then offered the 5 guys the 5 bottles of beers for 25 kuai/each, giving them a 50% discount and saving the beers from being a waste.

The guys all accepted the deal and enjoyed their beers. They then asked for the bill again.

Bill came: 250 kuai.

-Eh, this is wrong, one guy said. We were promised these beers would be half-priced, so the correct bill should be 125 kuai.

Then the same waiter that had offered them the discounted beers appeared, and said:

-Eh, yeah, well we decided that 25 kuai/bottle is too cheap. So you are going to have to pay the full price after all.

-Eh.... what?! You changed your mind?

A big discussion followed, and in the end the five guys won the discussion as they simply refused to pay more than 125 kuai for their beers.

I was laughing out loud when I heard this story, because this is definitely the first story I’ve ever heard of when someone first offer someone a discount and then have a change of mind.

Note to self: keep sticking to Chinese restaurants in Suzhou.