Shanghai life's good

I’m finally back at a point where life in China feels really good again: the food tastes amazing, people are nice, and living in Shanghai feels fun and exciting.

When I got back here after our trip to Australia in the middle of January I really felt that I wanted to leave China, that I had had enough, and that I wanted to go somewhere new. But now I don’t feel that urge anymore. I know I won’t live here forever, but I am also not ready to give it all up yet. I think having highs and lows is natural, no matter where you live. Maybe it’s especially apparent when you live over here though.

I was having lunch with a western girl the other day. She is getting ready to move back to Europe in 4 months, and feels a bit torn about it. She told me that she felt ready to move back at this very moment, as she was now at a place where she really missed her hometown, but feared that she in 4 months time would change her mind again, and that when time was up, she wouldn’t want to go. I understand her 100%. Life here changes so fast, it really is a rollercoaster. A truly, madly, crazy rollercoaster, with many highs and lows. I’m not ready to get off quite yet.

So get ready for another great year in China. Love this place at the moment. Let's celebrate that with a little photo memory mix from the early days in China: 2006-2007: A hot mess of... a bit of everything!

Time management

Why are Chinese people often late for meetings and appointments? It doesn’t really make sense if you look at their education system? Having such strict educational methods in schools, I don’t think kids dare to come to class late (will they even be let in?). Is it instead so that since they are always in time when they are kids, they make up for that by being late as adults?!

For me (and many people that I know) it was the opposite way around. I was a pretty good kid, but a rebel teenager. I often came late to class. In high school, I had no what-so-ever time management when it came to catching the bus each morning to school (it was a 40 min bus ride, so I kind of had to be on time otherwise I would be very late for class). I’ve given my poor folks so much headache over the years, running down the stairs every the morning, yelling for dad that he needed to give me a ride to the bus (I lived about a 15 min bike ride from the bus stop too, so my non-existent time management skills were not really making matters easy for anyone), having him sometimes refusing, and sometimes giving in. One of my friends, Mia, was a tad bit worse. She always missed the bus. As a result, her dad had to take her in a car and ride behind the bus, and then hopefully manage to overtake it, speed for a bit, and drop her off before the bus hit the next bus stop. Mia and I also played in the same basketball team, and every time we had a game our coach used to tell her that it started 1 hour before it actually did. That was, she would miss the warm-up, but at least be in time for the first half.

Now, as a “grownup” (well at least I do try very hard to fit into that category) I am hardly never late for meetings or appointments. I often think that I will be, and therefore I often send an apologetic text message, just in case, but then I’m often the first one to arrive. I have become much better at time management, so even though I think that the 20 min I have given myself to get somewhere isn’t enough –it often is. And it feels kind of good. I don’t like being late for things.

But some of my Chinese friends… Geeez, it’s almost getting to the point where I am getting annoyed. Take the other day for instance. I was stressing like a maniac to run from the yoga club to a restaurant where I was meeting some friends (mixed nationalities) at 7.30pm (my yoga class finised around 6.50pm, and I needed a shower). I thought I was going to be a bit late, so I sms:ed one of the girls just in case. Still, I managed to be there at 7.25pm. I called my Chinese girlfriend to ask how many people were coming and how big of a table we needed. When she picked up she sounded rather surprised when I said I was already at the restaurant. I could hear from the non-existent background noise that she was still at home. Still, she didn’t say anything about being late or so. The other ones dropped in at 7.30…. and then we had to wait until 8pm for our Chinese friend to come. She barely noticed herself that she was late. How is it possible?!

Visitor inflation

Nothing beats having your friends in town!

It’s getting warm out there –which is lovely! This spring is going to be fast and furious –there are so many things planned for the upcoming month that I believe my next free weekend, when I can bum around and do nothing, will be in May. This is of course both good and bad. We have lived in China for more than 4,5 years now, and considering that time we haven’t had that many visitors, until now, all of a sudden, when everybody wants to come at the same time!

We just had friends here from London, and on Saturday a new couple from Finland is arriving. When they leave there’s another one, and then my parents, my boyfriend’s dad, and then we have a weekend in Moganshan… and then I believe it should be summer?!

We are turning into real visitors pros. My London friend actually asked us if we had considered opening a travel agency for couples travelling to Shanghai. We have made a little travel kit for each couple, which includes metro cards, sim card, mobile phone, guidebooks, stomach pills and our own maps (where we have marked out our fave spots). We also tailor make the weekends so that they will suit each couple: when we had a pregnant couple visiting, we went to the baby market. When my London friend (who’s getting married next year) was here we managed to squeeze in a visit to Suzhou’s wedding street where she made herself a dream dress for 900 rmb! Considering the fact that a cheap wedding dress in London costs around 10 000 rmb, I think my friend was quite happy with her bargain. Our next visiting couple are food junkies aka health freaks, so we will spend a lot of time on food streets/at restaurants and also take them to try yoga, wake them up early in the morning so that they can see people practicing tai qi, etc.

Anyway, one thing that we are having a little bit of a problem with, now when there are so many friends coming over at the same period of time, is to take them out to restaurants/new spots. We obviously want to take them to our fave places, but it’s not fun for ourselves to go to the same restaurant four weeks in a row.

So, I was wondering if you guys would like to share your best travel experiences of Shanghai. Have you lived here? Travelled here? What was your best experience? Where did you do your best shopping bargain? Where did you eat your best meal? All recommendations welcome! We have a massive list, but since I will be playing the role of a tour guide this spring, I wouldn’t mind seeing some new places too.

When to be spontaneous and flexible -and when not

When not to be spontaneous and vague: Swedish weddings

Yesterday I met a Swedish girl who just got engaged, after her boyfriend proposed to her during the CNY. She was over the moon about everything: the romantic engagement (he proposed while they were scuba diving in Thailand and she almost drowned when she saw the ring, nodded “yes!” and forgot to breathe). They are planning to have the wedding this summer in Sweden and she told me that she was surprised by the lack of flexibility showed by her friends back home.

As they live in China, they obviously had to pick a date during their summer holiday, so let’s say mid July. All of their Chinese friends thought it was great and many of them are going to fly over just for the wedding. You would think that in Sweden, where 80-90% of the population is having a holiday around that time, it wouldn’t be any problems when it comes to attending a wedding, but think twice, because apparently it is:

-How can you pick a wedding date during the peak holiday season? A friend of her asked. I’ve already planned a trip to France at that time.

Oh, yes, the things you tend to forget while living over here. Swedes are masters when it comes to planning ahead. We plan our weeks and weekends well in advance, and each year in February, we fill the sheet for when we wish to have our summer holiday. Around June/July people decide if they want to celebrate Christmas at home that year, or take a trip to Thailand to get away from all the hysteria. Although I’ve gotten much better at being spontaneous and flexible since moving abroad, I still plan things like “when to call my family back home” at least one week in advance. It’s pretty simple: mom always knows what they are doing every weekend for at least the upcoming month, and can easily tell me if I should call home on Saturday or Sunday, and around what time.

In China, things change fast and people don’t really plan ahead. I think people over here are too scared of missing out on something better, and therefore it can sometimes be hard to get something written in the stones. I remember for instance when we arranged a house warming party. At leats 30 people RSVP:ed, saying they would come. But at the party night, it was freezing outside, rained heavily and felt like one of those nights where you’d just like to stay in and watch a DVD. All the invited foreigners still turned up for the party, while half of the Chinese part suddenly couldn’t make it because of various reasons.

I’m a planner by nature (I love making lists, planning holidays and organizing myself), but living abroad has made me a bit too keen on everything, and therefore my near and dear ones have learned not to take my planning too seriously. For each holiday season I have ambitious plans of going to Vienna, Italy and Spain, ON TOP of Finland and Sweden, and people just listen to me and nod, while they think: “Oh, here we go again.” I was the same when I planned to do my journalism degree abroad (something I had decided to do when I was about 10), I came home one day saying I was going to Singapore, the next I was going to New York, and when I finally decided on Australia, my mom didn't take me seriously until I asked her to come to the bank with me to pay the registration fee. "Oh, so you're really going?!" she asked. "Yeah, I TOLD YOU SO!" I said. Then she got a bit nervous.

Still, I like to keep things flexible and spontaneous, because those night outs that happen without being planned/random weekends spent in Inner Mongolia just because I needed a “quick getaway!” are normally the best ones.

Q&A session

Q: "What's the best thing about China?!" A: "Chinese food! And all the lovely Chinese people that I have met formed a friendship with over here!"

I've been quite bad at replying to comments/questions asked in the comment's field lately -sorry about that. I'm just trying to spend less time in front of the computer and more time at the gym/yoga club. Anyway, since I know some of you might have questions you want to be answered, here's an opportunity to ask me anything about life in China/bout learning Chinese/about moving here, and I'll try my best to reply. Note that I am not some kind of China expert in any way, so all my answers will have my personal twist.

Obviously I won't answer questions that I find offensive.

Funny assumption or just inappropriate?

In China, it's all about being a twosome!

Yesterday and male colleague and I decided to change our lives and join a gym. We didn’t make any appointment but simply showed up at a place that we’ve heard is good. A sales girl was soon by our sides, showing us around, throwing out funny little comments that we politely laughed about. Something that will never fail to astonish me is how Chinese people react when you tell them that you’ve been doing sports all of your life. For me it’s such a natural thing, and if I ever get kids I know I’ll encourage them to try all kinds of sports until they find something they like and want to do. Chinese kids are obviously busy with their heavy load of homework.

Anyway, once we had done the compulsory tour we sat down to discuss the membership fee.

-So, you want a yearly membership… bla bla bla, the grils started, drawing figures on a piece of paper (another thing that I don’t quite understand here: what is this obsession with writing down prices on paper or typing them into a calculator. Why can’t people just tell you the price to your face? Is it because they are scared that someone else will overhear it and that it will ruin a potential haggle-fest with that person?).

-And, what about your husband? The girl eventually said, turning to my workmate.

-Eh… we are not… No no! We are not married!

-Oh, sorry, your boyfriend?

-No, no no no no!!!! Eh, hehe! We are colleagues!

-Oh… I see. I just thought you two looked like such a match!

-Eh… right. Eh….

Biiiiig meaningful smile from the sales girl making us feel ....uncomfortable? Weird? Strange? Take your pick. I don’t even know this male colleague of mine very well, he kind of just started working with us. And I’m not sure if we are ready for such jokes yet.

In China, however, it is totally OK to throw these kinds of comments around. I don’t know how many times me and my boyfriend go somewhere and we are addressed as siblings, just because we are both tall and blonde (nevermind that we don’t have the same eye colour. Not important). I wonder if this would change if we were engaged? Do people here pay attention to engagement rings the same way people do in the west? Might be worth it putting a ring on then, just to avoid any kind of confusion: like me being seen as married to my colleague or being a somewhat messed up person who’s having a love affair with my brother.

Yikes... that actually sounds real awful! Can that be used as an argument for a speedy engagement?!

Summer lovin

I'm starting to feel a little bit better after a health week from hell. This wknd came right on time! And what to do on a wknd when you're supposed to take it easy, relax and when you don't have any visitors in town? Well, plan our summer holiday of course! Right now we are looking at tickets to go to London for a long wknd. We just had friends from London visiting us here in Shanghai and they did a good job promoting the city. I actually lived in London for 6 months after I graduated from high school. I shared a flat with 7 (!) other people close to Marble Arch tube station. Although I would never, ever do that today, it was probably one of the best things I could have done back then. I had so much fun and learned so much about myself (such as: never share a flat with people that you don't know!).

Except for London we also obviously have to go to Sweden and Finland. Ah summer... Still so far away, but nothing wrong with dreaming, right?!

I have a mad crush on Finland during the summers. It's simply so beautiful, I just love it. Looking at the pictures from 2009 when I did a summer vacancy in Finland and had the time to travel around for a bit makes me wanna go so much. I have a quite contradictive taste when it comes to what I like. In one way, I looooove big cities like London, Shanghai, Seoul and New York (technically, I haven't actually been in New York yet, but it's currently the number 1 destination on our list, and I know I will LOVE it). At the same time, I'm a nature geek who just loooooves small towns, hills, forests and lakes. I prefer all of that to a beach holiday, every single day. Where can you live and get both?!

Summer of 2009 in Finland was awesome. Spent some time in Hankasalmi, where my significant other's family has got the most amazing summer cottage. Three giant samoyed dogs don't make matters worse. I love dogs!

Also did a road trip to Savonlinna, which was like a summer dream. This photo is taken around 10pm!

Savonlinna
Caught up with one of my best friends, Anna, in Helsinki

...and saw some old friends in Tampere!