Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Chinese man + western girl


.....isn't a combination u see much of in China. While western men often date Chinese girls, it's quite rare to see western women with Chinese men. Why? Well, I actually don't know (who does?!) for sure, but I can only guess that it has something to do with one, or many, of the following reasons:

1. Western girls are taller/ have got 'bigger bones' than most Chinese men, and often look/are bigger than Chi men. A girl doesn't want to feel 'bigger' than her men and a man doesn't want to feel smaller than his woman...

2. Culture differences: many western women are quite independent and used to sharing the house chores with their men. In many Chinese cities, the woman is expected (regardless if she has a full time job or not) to take care of the household, make dinner, and so on, with no additional help from the man (except for if she lives in Shanghai! The Shanghai men are apparently real house helpers). I find it hard to imagine a western woman settling for this when she's been brought up in a completely different society. At least I know I wouldn't.

3. Language barrier (needs no further explanation)

4. Lack of mutual attraction?!

When I first moved to China I caught myself thinking that 'I will never find an Asian man attractive... they are just not my style....' But then, something happened?! I don't know if my eyes needed time to adjust to the different scene or what... but suddenly I started to see attractive Asian men on the streets (Chi, Korean, Japanese...)


I think it might have something to do with the fact that you first come, and think that everyone looks the same (this goes both ways: many Chinese have told me that they think all western people look the same) and then it takes a while for your eyes to adjust and actually distinct people? Anyways, that's how I felt it was. After something like 8months-1 year I started seeing a lot of attractive Asian men, and the funny thing is, that when I pointed them out to western friends who had just come here/who was here for a visit, they just looked at me and frowned.

Maybe the eye needs some time to get used to things? I don't know what other way to explain it... Nowadays I can think that many Asian men are attractive. When me and one of my girlfriends travelled to Seoul in Jan this year we were both quite amazed how good the guys looked, how well they dressed, and so on. (Although, to me, simlpy being attracted isn't enough to start dating. There obviously needs to be a personality click as well)

In general, I think Chinese men are more feminine than Western men. A classic example is the 'man bag' that became trendy some years ago... In China a man bag seem to be able to look like a woman's handbag and still be OK for a man to carry around??! (and then there are of course Chinese men carrying around their woman's hand bags... so those shouldn't be mixed up!). Try getting a western man to do that = instant failure.

Also, Chinese men can go and have a manicure, something that I think I'd have to violently force on my western bf, if I wanted him to get one (I don't, however!). I also think that Chinese men in general wear tighter clothes and more bright colours than western men .. I don't know, many of them just feel 'more in touch with their feminine side' than western men (I guess I should mention that I moved from Finland to China, and Finland being the most masculine country I have ever lived in -not in a good way!!!) I also get this feeling that Chinese men are a bit more sensitive than western men. I mean, have u ever heard a western man humming along (loudly) to 'My heart will go on' on the streets!?

So, could I date a Chinese man (IF I was single)?! I don't know. I think my main concern would be the culture differences. I think that a Chinese man would find me very bold, opinionated and obstinate, and I am not sure how he would deal with that? (gosh, I like to put myself in a bright light, don't I?! But I have strong opinions! I could never hide them). Also, I love doing sports?! Meaning: I love sweating. Not considered very feminine in China?

Actually, I don't see myself as being as 'girly girly' as Chinese girls. I like to wear pretty dresses and high heels, but I don't expect present from my bf if he goes travelling, I don't expect my bf to pay for everything (I like to be able to pay for myself!) when we go out, and I would never act like a spoilt child (I think this is called 'sa jiao' in Chinese?! I don't remember the characters for it...) to get what I want. Would this be considered strange to a Chi man, or would he actually appreciate it?

I would looooove to hear from a western girl who has personal experience from dating a Chinese guy... Or, a Chinese guy who's been dating a western woman. Maybe all the above reasons I have written down are wrong? Maybe some makes sense? Maybe there are plenty if other reasons that I have forgotten? What do you guys think? Please share!!!

65 comments:

Pingu said...

"Actually, I don't see myself as being as 'girly girly' as Chinese girls. I like to wear pretty dresses and high heels, but I don't expect present from my bf if he goes travelling, I don't expect my bf to pay for everything (I like to be able to pay for myself!) when we go out, and I would never act like a spoilt child"

I think that's a plus for guys no matter which country you are from!

Bettie said...

hi there, remember me? :) me and my taiwanese bf have been sambos here in the US since 2004. however, i dont think he's much chinese (nor taiwanese) these days either. he spent much of his life in the US he's more americanized now. his family are all back in taiwan and china, and we're going back to taiwan this christmas to see his family for a few weeks. but yes, i agree that chinese men seem much more feminine than westernized men. it's just a different culture and the stereotypical man and woman look different depending on what country you're talking about. although here in the US girls are very feminine too and expect the guy to take them out and flatter them with gifts, and then manly man definitely don't wear a handbag. i think it's pretty fascinating how the different the gender roles are from country to country.

it's funny, here in US you never see any asian men dating white girls (we're a huge exception, ppl stare at us all the same because of this!), but the other way around is so much more common here. many white women definitely wouldn't even consider to date an asian man, even though many asians are born here, kinda sad actually.

my taiwanese sambo often tell me how great it is that im a strong and independent woman that can take care of myself. but he also said that i made him much "softer"; whatever that means ;) i never thought i would end up with an asian guy. but either way keep an open mind and don't say you would *never ever* date an asian man, who knows what happends in the future. :) take care!

Mark's Blog said...

Hey, Thank you for this post, I do have some random thoughts on this.

As for Chinese man, I do not really think their demand for a woman that is dependent, household-wife like is the problem, because this is a matter of personal taste/preference that varies across places.(Last year, China's richest person was a woman)

In fact, my mum a is very independent, opiniated, woman while my dad like to stay at home and take care of family related things. So I would say this is different for each individual, and with 6.5 billion men, I do believe there are always those who prefer independent women (I am actully one of them, and there are many alike).

However, my own observation and experience is that, when it comes to dating or a plan/intention to date, the main problem, is still cultural difference, but a different type.

It is the lack of a shared interest in general. It is easy for the conversation to go boring, and difficulty for the Chinese man to make Western woman happy from his own effort.

I have not even tried to date a Western woman(girl), although I find many of them attractive to me, and I do admire and like their personalities.

Problem is, once I approched them, I found what she found interesting was what I considered boring,vice versa. Jokes and humour is a good way to make a start, but it is very easy(and dangerous) for each other to get it wrong.

Maybe that's because I have not tried hard enough?!Or, do I need to study more about the things I am not interested in or dislike for the sake of a girl?

(as for my interests,I like Chinese history,culture,literature; movies and tragedies; politics and international relations; What I am not interested in are cloth, fashion,design, music and sports. Am I a bit unfortunate because of my own interests? )

Jack said...

im a chinese australian and i think you make several excellent points.

1) physique
in general, i tend to find the average western man and woman to be vertically and horizontally larger than those form my own ‘diminutive’ race. so as you pointed out, there is definitely a physical disparity in terms of size and yes it does look odd when the girl is either taller and/or heavier than the boy irrespective of race.

2) culture
i think cultural influences also play a large role. putting aside the obvious cultural/language differences, asian men are simply not cast as sexually desirable in pop culture. asian men are not usually portrayed as the ‘hero’ in western media, as often asian men are cast to fill the light comedic or evil villain role in films… or to be more blunt asian men are not overtly sexualised in such films unlike asian women. i'm not suggesting it’s the fault of hollywood, but there is definitely an element of ‘monkey see, monkey do’ that’s playing against asian guys dating western women.

3) personality
More importantly however i tend to find asian guys in general tend to be more insular and introspective often hanging out with other asian from similar backgrounds, which tends to restrict the types of people they date.

having dated quite a few western women and i tend to find that its very much a hit and miss process. some women are just not into asians full stop, whilst others dont really care about race. although having a personality and a chiselled physique does help to improve ones odds irrespective of race

Jonna Wibelius said...

wow -I was hoping this post would trigger some discussion/responses, and it did -great!!

Pingu -true, true. But I feel it is more in the Chi culture that the man SHOULD spoil the girl? And it would be offensive if the girl didn't appreciate that? Am I being completely out here?

bettie -I am so happy u replied and shared your experiences! (and hey, f course I remember u!!) I bet it makes a lot of difference that u both live in the US..Also, from what I have heard, taiwanese men are more western then mainland Chinese men? Having said that, I can imagine u get a lot of curious stares in the states and when u visit Taiwan.. how about when u go to Sweden?!! I don't think I've ever seen a Swe girl w an Asian guy in Swe, although I can't say I've been 'looking for it' really...

Mark -do u find that western woman in general are more interested in fashion, design, music than Chi girls?!?! I don't think so. I think especially young Chi girls are really interested in fashion/popular culture. Although I can understand if you find Chinese humour/western humour to be different. I have actually heard that Swedes and Chi laugh at the same jokes although I am not sure if I totally agree....

Jack -great comments, I think you are def right about the fact that Asian men are never portrayed as sex symbols/big stars in mainstream movies... If someone says 'Asian male actor' to me, Jacky Chan instantly pops into my head. Chi women, on the other hand, have earned quite a 'sexy/beauty' reputation in movies.. funny that it's so different. I think it has with physique to do (like u said)

wancestyle said...

Great topic, which has been well summarised. However, from what I gathered among my Western female friends, lack of physical attraction and physical disparity seem to be main factors coming into play. Cultural differences matter of course, but they also apply in the case of Western men dating Chinese women.

Pingu said...

It is true that guys should spoil girls, especially in modern China. But I don't like it when they expect you to spoil them...

Anonymous said...

Hi Jonna,
I'm chinese for the record and the one who asked you whether you would date a chinese man.

Attraction - u know i find koreans more attractive among asians. Not just guys, but the girls are also prettier overall. both male&females seem taller, i could be wrong.(but i heard plastic surgery is very common in korea)

Western girls - i think majority of chinese man want a western girl. I remember back in highschool (in the US), the chinese guys that i knew all wanted a western gf. It was like one of their dreams, and same with the girls. It's meanly curiosity. They usually end up with a chinese partners, it always goes back to our culture differences and interests.

Anonymous said...

about the man purse - it's really a no no. guys should not be carrying their gf's purse.
but i understand the need to use a bag, they have alot of stuff carry around like keys, wallet, ipod, iphone etc.

Mark's Blog said...

Jonna- One of the Kiwi girls I admired most always has a strong interest in my cloth, take note of what I wear(usually comment on it) and interested in fashion, at least that's how she started the talk.

I mean, she's very nice and smart, I consider us as a good normal friends (with no intention of dating at all). But even for that, our conversations tend to get boring very quickly. I have little problem with English itself and we can understand each other perfectly, but it just seems that no matter how hard I try, it is almost impossible to find a topic that we can discuss together for more than 5 mins! The responses from each of us usually become "oh","I do not know", "that's great","good on you". Then, it's over.

But this is not a big problem when I talk to Koreans and other people from East Asians; It's also better if I am talking to a Kiwi male.

Geoff said...

Interesting post Jonna, thanks for your thoughts and observations.

I continue to enjoy reading your blog...I think I am addicted! This is the first blog which I have ever come back to a second time...let alone daily like this one for since discovering it my accident during the Olympic Games.

Keep up the great work. It must take quite a bit of time to update your blog so often, unless you are a super typist, that is!

Regards,
Geoff (Australia)

Jonna Wibelius said...

Mark -well, some people u simply just don't have any chemistry with... then it doesn't matter what u try and talk about, it still won't work. Asking questions is a quite easy way to get someone talking... as people normally like to talk about themselves!

Geoff -I take your 'addiction' as a compliment! :) I wouldn't call myself a 'super typist' but I'm quite quick when it comes to typing... Ideas on what to blog about pops up in my head several times a day, or/and when I see/hear/experience something funny (China's so full of inspiring things) so writing it all down is the easy part. And I love this kind of writing. I'd do it all day long if I could choose.

Anonymous said...

Jonna, this is a thought-provoking post. Good job and thanks for being so bold. Most bloggers out there dare not approach this topic since it can entail racism. Other commenters here have some great points. I only want to point out one thing that you wrote on your comment.

"Also, from what I have heard, taiwanese men are more western then mainland Chinese men?"

Well, this is not exactly true. I would actually argue the opposite is true if you care to dig deeper. On the surface, Taiwanese men/women may appear to be more Westernized because of more freedom, more accessibility to the outside world and of course a wealthier economy. But deep down they are way more "traditional Chinese" culturally speaking than mainlanders. It's much easier for a mainland Chinese (void of traditional Chinese culture and disillusioned by communism) to be westernized (for lack of a better word) than a Taiwanese. The westernization of a Taiwanese is only superficial. I am a Mainlander, married to a Taiwanese wife. We have lots of Mainland and Taiwan friends. For most of our taiwan friends, their in-laws and parents control their lives and the lives of their kids. For most Mainlanders, they are as independent as any Americans. I attribute that to the traditional Chinese culture where parents must be kowtowed and obeyed. A mainland Chinese couple would never think of asking their parents/in-laws what color of paint to use for their kitchen while a Taiwanese couple would often do so.

@Bettie

Glad you are happy with your Taiwanese boyfriend. if you decide to marry him, make sure you guys talk it out about your in-laws. Traditional Chinese (i.e. Taiwanese) in-laws can be very overbearing. Yes, some will tell ou what color to the wall to paint in your house. But some in-laws can be very loving and generous, especially to a daughter-in-law from another country. Don't let my generalization (folks, it's generally true) scares you. Chinese men are usally more responsible, a lot less selfish than Western men (Gosh, this will probably get some responses) and makes a lot more money (a result of hard work, being responsible plus intelligence - those Chinese immigrants in the US are the cream of the crop from China/Taiwan). You really have to look at each one on an individual basis. Good luck with your trip to Taiwan.

非非 said...

"SHE in China",I think it will beyond both "IloveChina" and "ISpyShanghai" as my favourie expat's China blog sooner or later.So go on,Jonna!

emil said...

Asian men is also common know for being really bad when it comes to a sexual relationship. Specially chinese people.

To those who is offended, I know it is a stereotype and it does not include everyone, but that is what most of my friends would say as one of the reasons.

Kate said...

what an interesting post, and I think you are on to something when you talk about slowly finding and being able to point out hot Chi dudes on the street. My bf is Korean (I'm white) and we always get stares because people are so not used to seeing Asian guy/white girl couples. People always ask about cultural differences, etc too. So far we haven't come across anything serious but if we stay together in the long term it may come up...but it's just something to talk over and figure out. I'm not very girly at all but he seems to like that. I'd date a Chi guy if I were single and there were mutual attraction, I think many of them are quite handsome. I like the tight clothes, the relative lack of meathead types, and the festive colors. Although, the man bag can go away and stay away and I have to say I'd want one taller and 'bigger' than me (my bf is both)... just like I would for a Caucasian. :)

Jonna Wibelius said...

非非 -I am a frequent reader of 'Wo ai' and 'I spy' too. My fave blogs about China! :)

Emil -I have heard that too from western guys who's been told that by their Chinese girlfriends. True or not? No idea. Maybe the girls just wanted to boost the guy's ego?!

Kate -oh.. Korean men are handsome.. what about when u go to Korea?! Do u get angry/surprised stares there too?

emil said...

http://www.mindmeters.com/showlog.asp?cat_id=41&log_id=1598

This even stated by China Daily. Many chinese guys have no other sexual references than porn movies and sometimes treath the girl the same way. That is why the average chinese guy think every white woman is cheap and easy, and I know some girls who have been asked if they want to have sex on casual places like supermarkets.

Kate said...

haven't been to Korea yet :( we're both in school in the States and even though I'm in China this semester we couldn't figure out our schedules such that a Korea trip could be arranged. we're hoping to finally go this summer but remains to see if I can get some funds! p.s. i also like ISpy and WoAi but I loooooove your blog!

Anonymous said...

Even in China itself, men from different part are different in their own ways. Western girls may should visit Northeast China where at least men have compatable size or pysique.

www.metrobloggen.se/shopgirl said...

I also think that Chinese men in general wear tighter clothes and more bright colours than western men .

HALLÅÅÅÅÅ

have you been to stockholm lately? ALL guys wear tight jeans that you can actually almost see the shape of the guy's penis. my swedish friend wears pink right jeans and no, he's not gay.

Oyomei said...

Hi Jonna, I'm from Wuhan and I live in New York. Most people that know me would not describe me as effeminate, but if they did I certainly would not be offended!

Since the Song Dynasty in 11th century, it has been much more respected for a young man to become a learnt man of letters rather than a warrior; unlike in Japan and Europe, there has never been an aristocratic class in China like the samurais or the knights. I would, of course, prefer a girl to be attracted to me for my intellect and disposition as well as my looks.

I would also have to point out, the world is composed of more than Western and Chinese people. When I dated a black girl, I had to constantly reassure her than I was attracted to her (and I was). Her insecurities, and perhaps my own, were the reasons that it didn’t work.

Also as a side note, yes Chinese man are more effeminate than Western man, but Western man are much much *gayer* than Chinese man! ;)

Qi

Lan said...

Hej, Jonna

"Chinese man + western girl" is a rare combination in China. But,my mum's friend's son just married a Canadian girl and my friend also has a Swedish gf in Sweden. My cousin and my brother also seem quite interested in Swedish girl even though they are just teenage...haha...Swedish girls are very pretty!:D

I think the language and culture difference might be the main reasons that most chi guys don't dare or cannot choose western girls. For Chi guys,most of them have to consider their parents' feeling since they have the responsibility to take care their parents. It's very differce compared to western culture. In China, two people's marriage means two families' combination. Parents opinions are mostly playing an important role in chirdren's marriage.

I don't like chinese girls "Sa jiao". At least,I won't and my friends won't. All of us believe that man and woman is equal. But, I don't like a couple seperate their finance intentionally. I prefer to share together ,and it will make you feel more close like a family.

'Sissy' Chi guys? Um...I think its the sissy fashion spread around the world. From stockholm to hongkong,all the guys wearing the tightly pants,feminie scarf and having the significant feminie hairstyle...I think that's the reason my husband's sister prefer mexican than Swedes and Chinese.

Kram

/Vivien

Anonymous said...

Hi, Jonna, take a look at this link
http://news.sina.com/ch/phoenixtv/102-101-101-110/2008-10-27/02123384109.html

Your this article has been translated into Chinese and put on the frontpage of one of the biggest Chinese website. I'm not sure if they have asked for your permission.

Anonymous said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Race,_Evolution_and_Behavior

According to Rushton:
Sexual appeal/number sex partners/sex drive is negatively related to level of evolution.

尼克 said...

Asians as a whole tend to be more feminine, and this is one of the many reasons that some Western men are attracted to Asian women; they feel that many Western women have become too masculine.

Anonymous said...

Hi everyone, I have just coincidentially come across this blog. However, I noticed the subject is becoming very popular these days. And in fact I notice more and more Asian-male/Western-female couples. I think it simply has to do with people getting over old clichées and considering this combination a possibility. If Western-males can date Asian-females why should Western-females not date Asian-guys?

ChineseDude said...

Interesting read but i would still like to say that a lot of your points are very general and stereotypical. I think there may also be a difference in cultural understanding so some things may come across to you as being not masculine. You may think we are feminine because of physical appearance as we do not have much body or facial hair, but being a masculine man has more to do your personality, and i know a lot of Chinese people are not pushovers. I think that comment you made about us being soft is very stereotypical and it's best to avoid such judgements. I hope that as you learn more about the culture, we will understand each other more and be easier with communication.

On average, i do admit that Chinese men are not as tall or wide as European, this has been proven by statistics. But I know that every younger generation of Chinese kids are growing at a very fast rate. It's not true that all Chinese men are short, there are always exceptions, the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese (Yao Ming), the tallest man in the world is also Chinese.

In terms of the western media, there are hardly any attractive asian men in mainstream western media. Traditionally, asians always get stereotypical roles, either the incredibly smart nerd or the kung fu artist. It's rare to find a good looking asian in Western Media. But if you get the chance, watch some Chinese films, i wish some of them would be shown more in the West. The 'battle of red cliff' was a good movie but it was mainly shown in asian countries, its about the 3 dynasty period in China and stars some great Chinese male actors.

John said...

I grew up in Canada, and I have a hard time finding a Chinese girl who shares my common interest and values. I'm not bad looking and not very short but I think white girls think Chinese guys are kinda backwards and aren't very expressive and manly.

I'm really stuck because white girls aren't so interested in me and I don't find Chinese girls on the same page.

I hope I meet a white girl who can see past the stereotyping.

Anonymous said...

Very interesting article.
I've been staying in Singapore for more than 10 years since a quite young age, and find myself adapting western cultures much better than my fellows.
Most of time, I found the majority of Chinese girls are no longer attractive to me because their general interests are very different from mine.
Those who are close to me have suggested me to look for a western girl as gf.
Hm, there are several reasons that I'm resisting to this idea. First, I don't think I'm confident enough in such a relationship or even start a conversation sometimes.
Second, cultural difference, although I have adapted some of the western culture, I myself was raised in a Chinese culture environment and I can say I still think as a Chinese some time. it's very hard for you to explain something oriental to western girls unless she has interests in that.
Last, the chances of you meeting western girls vs chinese girls. Personal circle makes huge difference. Personally I felt it's very hard to make good western friends.

weizhuang128 said...

At first, I will say that I am a Chinese man. I think chinese men are not like that you said. In modern China, a large number of men have a handsome face, vigorous body, a sophic thinking as well as a good taste, also including money.

Bloodybastid said...

You know that most people in the United States starts lifting weights when they're in High School right? There are weight-rooms in their schools that allows them to lift weights and strengthen their body. Plus, weight-lifting is healthy and suggested by many. So if you're in the states and you started lifting during HS you would be muscular.


Now shift the scene to China, you're a student in China going to High School. Are there weight-rooms in Chinese schools??? And if you're a student, can you even WASTE time to go lift-weights????? No, your butt would be glued to your chair doing math problems 400 times a day or else you're not getting into a good university, and that's IT for you. Your life depends on what university you went to, and whatever you got on your entrance exams. You can't be wasting time lifting weights if you're a Chinese student, completely different culture, different enviornment. You can't blame Chinese guys for being skinny or weak, or whatever people say because they have very little control over it.

So this is just one example.

Zhe said...

I followed a link to here from a popular Chinese forum. My girlfriend is Hungarian and I have been living in Göteborg for 3 years now, so i guess my input might contribute a little bit here.

Some Chinese men don't like independent girls, that is true. But actually you can find this case everywhere in the world, can't you? And I am sure you can find quite many Chinese guys who like independent girls just like me. I love to share my thought with my girlfriend and listen to her opinions. In fact I wouldn't like her if she doesn't have unique thoughts. And since her food is not as good as mine, (at least I think so, haha), I prefer to do more cooking at home. Maybe you think it is rare in China, but I can assure you there is much more than you thought.

Cultural differences are a big problem, as well as the language barriers. So I think at least one of this couple need to be interested in another's culture. My girlfriend loves Asian culture a lot, so I can tell her those intersting things about China. And she teaches me how to survive in Europe in return. (But I love European culture as well, otherwise I wouldn't decide to live here.)

Chinese men are more feminine than western men. I don't know. It depends on how you define feminity. For those thing like handbag or jeans, I think it just because they think it is fashion. For sensitivity, I am not sure. The example you were using is quite lame actually. May it's just because he think the song is beautiful. That happened many times to me as well, when i really didn't think about the lyrics too much. Speak of feminity, don't you think Swedish guy is more feminine than Chinese? Haha, no offense but compares to Swedish girls, Swedish guys are a little feminie from my perspective. (They will be more like wester men after some vodka shots;) But one important thing is Asian men are more responsible than the Western men with same ages, also more serious when it comes to relationship.

Sexual life. Yes, the average penis sizes of Asian guys are shorter than Afican/European men.(As far as I know, Indian should be the shorest according to the statistics, the second shorest is Japanese) I don't think that is an issue, at least not to my girlfriend. It's all about skills. And actually Chinese are one of those who wrote books about sex skills hundreds years ago, such as tantric sex. Just now maybe because of the out-of-date sexual education in China, people still dont think it is a topic that can be discussed as free as other natural human needs. Most of the Western men begin their sex life at an early age, in the meantime most of Chinese men only have one or two partners in their whole life and most of Chinese girls are too shy to share the feelings with the partners. I was sucked before, but thanks to the tips from my girlfriends, now I won't believe in those Asian men's sexual performance craps.

zzllkk said...

Hello. I am Chinese from Beijing. Now am working in London, UK. I only come across with English girls, so I only talk about English girl. As I feel, I don't think it is the Chinese male who should be blamed for. On the contrary, it is the English girl who has the problem. Most of them have a bias on our Chinese people to some degree. They do not even want to have an eye contact with you when meet on street. And the one who does make eye contact; they simply keep the distance only to the flirting level and no more. When approach to them as a way of seeking formal/casual acquaintance, a simple answer 'NO' kills the motive straight away. I really do not understand that: why do not they just give a chance to Chinese guy? As they should know, if they are approached by Chinese guy, intentionally, the guy himself have had his mind tuned to be more westernized and more adaptable than the mind we deal with Chinese girl. The Chinese guy can make a change on themselves, why could not the English girl?

Also, I have seen too much heart breaking stories caused by household domestic violence which have had or being happened in England, but never seen a Chinese guy beaten his western wife (if there is any Chin-Eng couple). Never! Some time I just think, those English girls do not really appreciate what is good to them and what is not. They can not make a clear decision without any bias and stereotyped thought.

Anonymous said...

I think there's stereotype at play here.

First, not all Western men look like Rambo or Arnold. Not all of them are tall.

Secondly, Chinese guys with brown skin, strong black hair and dark eyes look more musculine, compared to a white guy with fine fair hair, white skin and blue eyes.

Thirdly, many Western women look pretty when they are young. But their looks fade more easily, i.e., more wrinkles, more obesity. Also, Western women, stereotypically, don't cook as well as Chinese woman.

A Western guy gets a Chinese girl to take care of him, mother him, cook for him, while he's in China.
That is a feminine role.

On the other hand, few Western women want to do the same for Chinese men, most of whom don't Western cooking.

Just some thoughts.

George said...

This is quite an interesting post! I was born in China and moved to the States when I was 12. From my experience, I think the white girls are very open to dating Asian guys as much as any other race. It's more about a personality match like with any other relationship. But it does seem that western girls are less likely to initiate a conversation with an Asian guy, and since a lot of asian guys think that white girls aren't attracted to them to begin with, the result is a negative feedback loop. I've only dated white girls so far and I hope to marry one :)

Tena Chen said...

I think it is all a matter of personal taste and who you feel attractive to, and how your personalities mesh. Sure, culture clashes can be a real hassle. However if you really want to make the relationship work, each party should be willing to compromise and learn something more about the other person's culture. You'll end up learning more about yourself as well.

I'm a white American woman who lives in the Southern U.S. Interracial relationships are more tolerated in some areas, but even black/white couples still get looks and derogatory comments. I am married to a Chinese-Canadian. (I am also three inches taller than him, myself being 179 cm.)

Even though we have both been raised in Western countries, our families have similar income levels, values, etc., it can still be frustrating (even after a 10-year-relationship). I have learned a lot by trying to compromise with him, and vice-versa.

My mother-in-law (who is from Hong Kong) is great, is pretty darn tiny (145 cm!) and we get along well.

I especially like reading your blog about your experiences, especially since my husband and I will be traveling to Taiwan next year to see his father and relatives there. Reading your insights on the culture is very helpful, especially from a female perspective.

Anonymous said...

I am a Chinese guy and have been living in Switzerland for the past 10 years. My current girlfriend of 3 years is a Swiss blonde. My last two relationships were with a Tunisian/Greek woman and an incredibly sexy (if I may say so) Sri Lankan woman. You could kind of say that I am an equal opportunity guy when it comes to dating women.

It is undeniable that many decades of racist and demeaning stereotyping perpetuated by Hollywood have had a severe toll on the dating chances of (East) Asian men. Unfortunately, Hollywood’s reach is worldwide. If you want to educate yourself in this area, see for example:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stereotypes_of_East_Asians_in_the_Western_world
and
http://articles.latimes.com/2004/may/12/entertainment/et-pierson12

Personally, I happen to know of a string of Asian man-western woman combos among my acquaintances. For example, one of my Swiss girlfriend's work colleagues is married to a Japanese guy. My barber, who just so happens to be a Japanese guy, was married to a Swiss woman, just a like a couple of his own Japanese friends. Then there is the daughter of my girlfriend's private flute teacher who married a Japanese guy.

Just in case you were thinking that we are dealing with some kind of phenomenon mainly limited to Japanese guys, I know a Chinese opera singer whose 19 old son is being romantically pursued by a number of his Swiss girl classmates in school (he is a good-looking, and a very outgoing and confident chap). Last but not least, a Chinese friend of mine has been pursued by a Swiss lady, asking him to date her. However, he stubbornly wants to date Chinese women only. I have been trying hard to convince him to go for western women, but so far without any luck – I may have to resort to putting (ground) hallucinogenic mushrooms in his drink one day….

In addition, lately I have started to actively pay attention to interracial couples on the streets, and so far I have sighted a number of such couples involving Asian guys. As one example, last Sunday, as I was strolling in the park, I came across a Chinese guy walking arm in arm with a Swiss woman, probably married judging from the two young mixed looking boys who were with them.

Of course, these are just anecdotal stories; nevertheless I believe that things are finally changing for the better for Asian guys in the dating scene. In the latest release of marriage and co-habitation data by the European census and marriage registry bureau for the year 2008, analysts have discovered a significant trend toward greatly increasing numbers of European women marrying and living with Asian men residing in European Union member countries.

Globalization and the gradual shift of economic and political power to East Asia have also led to an increase in more balanced, positive and truthful images of Asian men. Even Hollywood is realizing this and catching on. On a personal level, what also helps a lot is to be confident when approaching women (especially western ones) and be able to hold an intelligent conversation interlaced with humor (I believe these are one of the reasons why I have been hit on by numerous western women, mostly in corporate environments).

Anonymous said...

it is know that some dating sites turn blind eye to bogus profile in their books :)

David Law said...

I don't want to stereotype or generalise about Chinese and any other nationals so I will speak of my experience instead.

I am an overseas Chinese living in UK for almost 30 years now. Over the years I saw two of my uncles married two wonderful British girls, and recently I also made friend with a mainland Chinese man from Xian, China who married a lovely British lady and now living in the UK with her. One of my fellow colleagues from work who is crazy about Chinese Kung Fu and Chinese Singers is now settling down with a Chinese boy 8 years younger then her.

Unfortunately, having lived in the UK for 30 years, I had not had the privilege of experiencing the nicety of going out with a British girl. I think the reason because in my early years, I was too shy to express my desire and also in the beginning I felt there was a strong barrier with my language skills and culture.

I came from a very traditional Chinese family and their way of life was so totally different from that of the typical British one. Having said that, since gaining much confidence in myself and by increasing my understanding of the British culture, I was beginning to become more popular with the western females and most become very good friends.

However, now that I am married, it is very difficult for me to say whether these friends will be willing to go a step further to become girl friends, if I still be single. Therefore, I think the implication is not the person but a combination of difference in communication, social discrimination, cultural alienation and family traditions.

Before marriage I found myself attractive to Chinese girls without even trying, this may be because I tick their boxes as a potential husband, whilst for a British girl this may not even be part of the mindset.

Anonymous said...

Wow this post has been going on for ages but since it appears still sort of active, I will give my 2 cents too.

I am a western girl, well, woman and contrary to what might have been mentioned here before, I find Chinese (or other Asian like Korean, Japanese for instance) very handsome. Yes, I would also say they appear more 'feminine' but more so because I found that a lot of Asian men take good care of themselves e.g. hairstyle, fashion etc. and then has more a feminine hint. But I love it... I like the features as well, especially the eyes. So now having said that even keeping cultural differences in mind, I would love to date an Asian guy, BUT... It's ME! I am totally insecure when it comes to that. I see all those beautiful Asian girls and I think that never in the world would an Asian guy find me attractive. I am not petite, I am very pale so that might be a plus but having seen Asian guys, I feel even as a woman I have more body hair... never mind that like most women I take care of that, but just to know... So I never approach Asian guys because I feel I can't measure up. And from what my female Asian friends tell me, Asian guys are (generally- I know it's an individual thing) quite shy in appraoching girls anyway but Western girls in particular. So even if there is hypothetically an Asian guy who woul find me attractive and nice- how on earth would we ever meet

The second thing is- I am 32... so no big deal for a Westerner not to be married. I had a change in career, travelled extensively... but most Asians I know are married by that age- so again bad luck for me. So also living 'condition' (for lack of a better word) circumstance/ culture also again affect us ever coming together

Anonymous said...

That sounds more like an excuse not to bother to me. You might not have noticed, but those "beautiful Asian girls" are actively seeking white men, not us. And in many cases, much like white women discounting asian men, those men are more likely to find white women more attractive than asian women. It's the whole reason the OP posted this in the first place!

I also don't understand the reasoning to include "I am not petite"? Do you have to be petite to be attractive? A lot of men, whites included, feel intimidated by "larger" women. Doesn't make them any less attractive, just a different kind of attractive. Like different flavours of wine.

As for body hair, hahaha... unless you actively do not care about maintenance and are proud of growing your body hair out, then I seriously doubt it would be an issue. My current girlfriend is very "hairy" on her arms... not hair hair you understand, just the furry kind... it's cute. It really isn't a problem, unless you have a moustache.

C said...

Hi
i wanted to share my experiences relating to your post.

Your general perception of asian men - the good and bad, well you're just seeing the tip of the ice berg.

I have a korean female friend. She told me she wants an "European" man for a life long husband but considers asian men not attractive. Yes, a very superficial preference. She's very much into going out, shopping and eating. A simple soul but groomed poorly by her mother to pursue some one rich and that a man willl always be the bread winner and dominates her. A very submissive outlook indeed!. SHe talks about how eurasian kids/white kids looking really cute with blue or green eyes. she seems to have a big fascination about the fact going out with a good white looking man is like some sort of holy experience. I'm sure alot of asian men shares the same view if they are really into getting white females as long gf/one night stand or a wife.

i do agree with you, cultural differences will always play a big role for asian men getting together with a western female. The success rate is perhaps smaller than an asian female getting a white male.

Derek said...

The only reason is language problem, less attractive Chinese women would accept a white man's love. You won't see the beautiful grade Chinese girls would have a Western bf because there are heaps of cool Chinese guys in the country.

So, if the girls can choose, they'll prefer to stick in their own type, I can assert 99.98% of Chinese girls prefer Chinese men only in their deep hearts. But y u see many Western men dating Chinese girls? Because Western men go to China with the financial advantage, lacking of confidence in dating hot White girls, so eager to date Asian girls. Look at those old fat white men in Thailand, you'll see y.

The financial condition is changing rapidly, sure u'll see more and more Chinese men with their Western lovers in the streets.

Terence said...

I'm a Chinese guy and I've dated only asian women, but I really find white girls attractive. I feel like I'm the only one here in my circle of friends. Still, I guess because I live in Hawaii, I have that fascination of having Eurasian kids as well. Sadly, its just the negative media portrayal of Asian men not getting love from Whites. Here in Hawaii, I really see a big influx of Asian male/White female pairing lately. I have a friend in Seattle confirmed that she sees a lot of that pairing in her state too. Hopefully, I can meet that pretty white chick someday. I don't have much in my area. Even if there is, they are taken. Maybe if I move to Seattle, things may get more interesting. The only thing that I may have to get used to is culture. I noticed that a lot of whites from the mainland don't seem to understand the cultural references in Hawaii, but I guess the same can be said for any other country. But for sure, I definitely wouldn't mind going out with a white girl, heck I marry her if I have to. God sees no color when it comes to dating/marriage.

Anonymous said...

i'm a european girl married to a chinese guy. we been married for almost 5 years and have the most beautiful 2 little boys. my husband is the only asian man i dated and i would just say that people are just people no matter the race, if it just happen that the person you get along the most is of a different race so be it... asia is a huge place there is all kind of people just like in the west or anywhere else

Anonymous said...

there are two type of asian male/western female from my own experiences :
Type 1 : asian male acting like white male with white female
Type 2 : asian male acting like asian male with white female

it's easier for type 1 to date white female. But to it's like a couple of 2 white people. The asian male only looks like asian but is completely white inside. It is a pity, he forgot his own culture

Type 2 date white female who feel very close to asian culture. There is a better understanding. I like the idea to bring the western girl to the asian culture and philosophy. It would be more balance as nowadays it exist far much more wsestern girl with type 1 than type 2.

Why should always asian male to act like white male to get white female ? It could be the other way isn't it ? It make me feel like white women never want to make compromise but expect asian male to make compromise which is unfair in my eyes.

It's not a question of gender equality between man or woman but love affairs between white and asian seems to be unfair to the asian male.

Mike said...

I am a young Chinese guy and I have been to Sweden and I speak Swedish.
I have also been to England and Australia and I also speak English.
I can see that there is a huge difference in the mentality and the attitude towards Asian guys.
In Sweden, most white Swedish girls were very friendly and open-minded, and a lot of white Swedish girls told me that they loved Asian guys. I had lots of white Swedish girlfriends.
Whereas in England/Australia, I never had a white English/Australian girlfriend, because it was obvious to me that English/Australian girls were very prejudiced against Asians.
The way that you are writing about Asians, I have the impression that you are not thinking like a white Swedish girl, you seem to be thinking more like a white English/Australian girl. I would never had thought that you were a Swedish girl.

Anonymous said...

Mike you are right. Jonna lived in England and Austrila for more than 8 years and she is CERTAINALLY "Poisoned" by American media about us Asian guys.

But dont worry, you dont have to live in USA, England and Ausltrila. Myself will go back to China after getting my PhD.

:)

Jiang

Tianhe said...

As a Chinese guy, in general, I have found that the white Scandinavian girls found Asian boys very exotic, so most Chinese/Asian guys would find it very easy to date the Scandinavian girls.
In Sweden, most white Swedish girls love the Chinese/Asian guys, but because Swedish people tend to be shy and reserved, the Swedish girls would just look at me and give me a shy smile if they liked me.
In Copenhagen, on the other hand, the white Danish girls were not so shy, the Danish girls would just look at me like they did not try to hide that they really loved me and that they wanted me and my body. I felt like I was a sex symbol ( I am not kidding ) in Denmark.
On the whole, I like both white Swedish and Danish girls equally, it is just that the Swedish girls are more shy and reserved than Danish girls.
Norwegian girls were really nice too, although I felt that Oslo had more of a small town atmosphere with very warm and kind hearted white Norwegian girls.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this thread, its been interesting reading. I was looking for ways a western girl should approach a Chinese guy she really likes but its not easy to find, this is great! Im an English girl (well, middle aged woman)in England, with a huge (girly) crush on a Chinese guy who works next door to me in the local take away. He doesnt carry a handbag or where bright clothes btw, usually dresses in black actually and is very masculine and very sexy (i guess a sexy guy is a sexy guy whatever nationality, this is the only Chinese guy ive ever fancied. He speaks very little English, though we spoke a bit, i know hes been here seven years, the English spelling of his name, that hes from China (but didnt understand when i tried to find out where in China,but my knowledge of China was 0, to my shame i couldnt name one Chinese town (now i can name 3 and say 'hello' in Chinese, though ive not tested that out yet). We always smile if we pass each other and i think he likes me too but is hard to tell if hes just being polite. Im shy and get nervous talking to him. I tried asking him out but he said he didnt understand me. Id love to know him better but worried i'll make booboos, like asking him out maybe, and scare him off if our cultures are very different. Any tips gratefully appreciated.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this thread, its been interesting reading and the only one of its kind ive found to date. Im an English girl (well, middle aged woman)in England, with a huge crush on a Chinese guy who works next door to me in the local take away. He doesnt carry a handbag or where bright clothes btw, usually dresses in black actually and is very sexy (i guess a sexy guy is a sexy guy whatever nationality, this is the only Chinese guy ive ever fancied. Its hard to work him out though, i think he likes me too. Were on smiling and hello terms but id like more. I tried asking him out but said he didnt understand, though we spoke a bit, i know hes been here seven years, his name in English and that hes from China, though he didnt understand when i tried to ask where in China and my knowledge of China is 0, to my shame i couldnt name one Chinese town (least now i could name a few and say 'hello' to him in Chinese, if i ever get the courage. Im shy and get nervous talking to him and i think he is too. Id love to know if theres a chance or if im reading the signals wrong. I dont want to scare him off if our cultures are very different, like maybe i shouldnt have asked him out. Any tips gratefully appreciated.

Anonymous said...

I was student university of plymouth, uk. I am a Chinese Malaysian guy, who like a young beautiful british Girl from brighton very much but never got the courage to let her know how i really felt for her. I left UK with regret.
I still think of her often.

Don't be another coward like me. Just let the person know how you really feel for her.

T

binbin said...

without close observation and real life experience it is hard to give such summary, well, I think it does make sense. most of chinese men actually are more feminine, boring, little.

i am myself a chinese, and i would be interested in dating a western girl, i find western girls' personality more fascinating.

SeePhotography said...

well, it no truth, chinese man cant date white girls. seen i come to europe. i date countless white girls and a couple black girls as well.
regarding about chinese girls dating white guy. i dont heard many good ending. and lot been cheated by white guy. and Chinese culture will not tell their shame to other. keep it to herself. what a shame. and again some white been cheat by African and they tell the whole in the newspaper even come on tv.

as for me i dont see any difference about race or colour. it just human.

Anonymous said...

Asian males are JUST LIKE ALL MEN, if you’re attractive, smart, and you respect each other, men don't care about your race or origin. This stuff about “aggressive western woman” being a turnoff for Asian men, that’s total BS. The worlds changing look at any college campus! Many Asian males DO like western gals, not just white ones either. IF YOU’RE AN ASIAN MALE and CAN’T GET A WESTERN GIRL, Its you! Because know plenty of girls that like asian guys and asian guys that get girls! I’m mixed (not asian or white) and I've dated all types of foreign males including the hottest Asian guys, NO PROBLEM AT ALL (Chinese, Korean, Pilipino, Taiwanese, and Vietnamese) all respectful and smart. Being American was not an issue. This language barrier, distance, customs, family disapproval, house wife stuff is ALL BS. These articles are from ppl living in the past; NOW If a dude likes you that stuff won’t stop him from being with you.
Helping at home is teamwork, and asian males would rather have a wife/gf that doesn’t chase them for money, who works to lighten their financial load and we do this in the U.S. –plus most Asian men do cook, help with kids, and housework. They are loving, stable, and loyal that’s why I married one! My husband is a handsome model from China, SCORE! He’s half Korean, half Chinese, by far the hottest guy I had ever seen, educated, and respectful. He liked all my “aggressive” qualities, opposites attract and he liked that I get stuff done and work hard and I'm not boring–looks help of course but it wasn’t about money either!
My advice: Race/origin is irrelevant! If your smart, attractive (any race) to him, respectful, and faithful any guy is possible. This is honestly an issue of asian population in the west, m to f ratios, and lack cross cultural exposure for many asian men abroad.It will eventually change.

Anonymous said...

Hi All :)

Who says asian males are not sex symbols in the movies???? Look at jet Li and Chow yun Fat.

I also want to say something about european woman being too masculine?
Look as european girl you have to pretend you are a tough cookie especially outside cause otherwise you get groped! A lot of european girls learn to hit immediatly to defend their honor and to pose aggressively.
Maybe the asian guys here don't realise that some of the european streets are not really safe like they are in asia.
And making eye contact on the street is also a no-no you do not do that in the city unless you are asking for trouble.

Please do keep that in mind when you see a so called "masculine" european. We really pretend to be tough but inside we are quite sweet.

John said...

I skimmed through some detail of the context because your thoughts being presented were not all well organized. I do see a lot of chinese girl and white guy matches in China during my summer vocation visits. While it is true that chinese girls are frequently matched with white men, it can also be said that chinese men are matched with white girls. Infact, I see that combination a lot in New York; even starting at the ages of high school.

1. Men are born with stronger bones ? If you are referring to stereotypes,

2. White girls in the modern world are assimilating asian culture, specifically from china, korea, and japan. Chinese guys are playing around much in the latest technology.

3. umm.. the chinese (innovative, proficient ones- very few) are extremely fluent in English. (Most of them have probably moved on to the UK by now.)

4. At the handball courts/academies in New York, I believe the "big shot asians" are there. Sophisticated, healthy lifestyle can be seen throughout the body. In most of China, average faces everywhere except a few spots.

I am Chinese (canto)M. Preferably active, individualized, knowledgeable, and emotionally stable (also natural good looks) traits of a woman are highly prized. However, the two most important traits in my opinion is the ability to "start a new time" and "productive sense".

Anonymous said...

Jonna Wibelius,

Actually, from looking at your photos with chinese people on your blog, you look rather petite compare to them. You are vertically taller. I think you are about the same height as most chinese men. But you have a smaller head and smaller, narrower body frame than most chinese men and women (based on the photos). It's not always about vertical height. I think Chinese are about the same average height as southern Europeans and Mexicans

In terms of housework, most western women are better at housework than chinese women. Western women learn to cook and clean at an early age by doing choirs. Chinese women never do choirs when growing up. Their only main concern is studying and getting good grades. And then it's college, then career after that. They learn to cook and clean for the first time when they get marry and move out of their parents' house (which means they won't be good at it, since they are doing it for the first time). So if you want a good housewife, a man should marry a western woman. Better yet, a Latino woman. They learn cooking, cleaning, and taking care of younger siblings as early as 5 years old.

If you didn't know, in a lot of Asian households (Japanese, Chinese, Thai, ect.), the women have total control of the money. The man gives the wife his paycheck, and she determines how to spend it. The man gets an allowance from the wife. Any major expense like joining a gym, the man would have to ask the wife for permission first. Would a western man ever hand his paycheck to his wife and let her have total control of their life savings?

In terms of the masculinity/femininity, I think, a lot of northern european males look very feminine. The men and women have that soft, radiant, "fresh out of the womb" skin. They look very delicate and feminine, and they sunburn real easily. If you look at the Chinese from the south, especially from the villages, they have this rough, tan, sinewy appearance, and they never get sunburn.

In terms of behavior, in depends on what. Chinese tend to be louder than westerners (who tend to be more quiet). Chinese tend to be more blunt and direct in saying things (like "you gained weight"). They see no problem in spitting, and coughing in public where westerners seem prudish about these things. But I guess Chinese have thst Confucian values which is to respect your elders and respect authority. However, you don't ever cheat Chinese people when it comes to money. Authority or not, they will go ballistic you.

Zidong said...

if you are a man with confidence and security in yourself, open and positive mind, spontaneous personality, sense of humor, all women will come to you. regardless where you come from, no question asked.

Alvin said...

Did anyone mention about education background?
In China (or in general the far east) the education system does not encourage people to be humorous, confident, outgoing and masculine. I will give some examples.
(1) Chinese students study much harder than western students, thus they have less time for other activities including partying, music and sports.
(2) In fact the education system does not provide for much room for other activities as well. Academic results are all the counts for entering college, and most Chinese students don't get a chance to attend western style social occasions like high-table dinners and parties until they reach adulthood.
(3) Chinese education system does not encourage creativity and confidence. Chinese students are only required to memorize what is taught to them, but are not encouraged to express themselves and their own opinions.
(4) Chinese guys do not have strong sense of masculinity. Taiwanese, Japanese and Hong Kong dramas all portray handsome men as having long hair, pale skin and slim figure. I observe that most western guys work out at a certain age, but the percentage of Chinese guys who work out is much much lower.

As a result, most Chinese young people when compared to western counterparts, are relatively boring, timid, introvert and feminine.

But I would also point out that I do not believe this is a matter of ethnical differences. Asian people are not generally less masculine. Historically the Mongols were very masculine people. Their warriors conquered half of Europe! So I think it is more of a matter of culture.

Anonymous said...

I am a western woman and have always been attracted to Asian men.
I have dated two in my life, but they were living in western countries. I have found them to be more caring, loving and romantic than many western guys. They were generous with gifts and attention. There was no problem with me being a university graduate and persuing a career.
We were very much equals, shared housework, cooking , cleaning etc. One of them is now married to a western woman and is an excellent husband and father.
I am tall and blonde and don't mind my guy being smaller. I love the soft, hairless Asian skin and size doesn't matter.What's wrong with a guy looking after himself, smelling good and dressing well?I find it sexy. And loving someone is not just about size and sex, but the way they treat you and make you feel. My Asian guys have made me feel good about myself.Only regret: I never got married to one of them.
I don't want to generalise, but I think if you fancy an Asian guy, forget the stereotypes and give it a go. He may just surprise you!!

Anonymous said...

I think your assumptin are really good Joanna. But I would say that it not just the Chi men that apperars more feminin in eyes of the uniformed wersterner, actually pretty much all east-asians do. Wich tends to decrease the attractivens of east-asian man to the average western female and increase the attractivens of east-asian women to the average western male and partially explain the disproportion in mixed realationships.

Emily said...

Hi, I found this blog very useful and interesting.
I'm a western woman, living in Europe and I work at a chinese company. My problem is that there is a Chinese guy whom I like really much. He mentioned that he is planning a date with me.. I don't know if he is serious or not.
What is important that he knew I have a bad relationaship, but he was waiting for me to become single nad now he is planning to go out for a date with me.
He is really open-minded, clever very humorous but I don't know many things about him because he seems a little uncommunicative about his private life.
I think I'll say yes if he invites me for a date, but you know what a little disturbing is that Chinese girl (our colleagues) like him a lot, he is always going with that girls everywhere... Is it common in Chinese culture? If Chinese girls like him so much why he wants to date with me? I'm a bit confused cause he is so different like other guys... :)

Anonymous said...

Well, I'm a very westernized mexican male in California, and although attracted to a variety of ethnicities, the best relationships are with Filipinas. Westerinized Mexicans are almost indistinguishable from westernized Filipinos, they mesh very well. Both have good work ethics, similar culture/religion, regard for family, and driving too slow on Southern California freeways (ha lol). I also can be really attracted to vietnamese women, and dark japanese women. I guess it can be said that i tend to like darker asian women. That makes a huge difference in my attraction to them.