Monday, April 20, 2009

"Useless women"

C'on... we all know it, women rock!

Last week I was having dinner with some Chinese friends at a restaurant. Next to our table was a group of four middle-aged Chinese people: 3 men and 1 woman, eating, drinking beers (only the men), laughing and having a good time. The atmosphere was friendly and good and everyone seemed happy. Until it was pay time. The man asked for the bill and handed over his credit card to the waiter.

-Oh sorry we don't accept this card! The waiter said.

-What? Of course you do. I have paid with it before! It shouldn't be any problems!

-Well, I am sorry. I know we don't take this card.

-I don't believe that. Let me talk to the manager.

The waiter went to get the manager and while she was gone the man started abusing her (and the restaurant) to his friends. Then the manager arrived. It was a woman.

-I want to pay with my card. Why is that a problem? Asked the man.

-I am sorry sir, we only take cash.

-But I have been at this restaurant many times!

-Yes, but we still only take cash. I am so sorry if this is an inconvenience to you.

-Yes it really is. I want to pay with my card. If I cannot pay with my card I want a discount.

Then the conversation went onto something that I didn't understand. I believe they were discussing a possible discount and the manager kept apologizing to the man over and over again.

Finally, the man handed over some bills with an unhappy, loud grunt.

The manager took the cash and disappeared. As soon as she was gone the man went back to calling the restaurant 'a terrible place.' His friends listened carefully, and I had to bite my tongue when I heard him say:

-But then again, of course it is terrible. It is a woman who runs this place. And what can you expect from a place that has a female boss? Of course it will be terrible. Women can't run things.

Two of his friends agreed. Only the woman at the table sat silent.

One can only hope that these men have higher thoughts about their wives than of women in general.

22 comments:

Benjamin King said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Artificial Wisdom said...

I'm surprised at his comment. It was very rude.

Everyone knows that a woman's place is in the kitchen. Having a woman run an eatery should be natural.

Just kidding.

I'm guessing that the guy had been there a lot and apparently the card had been accepted there before. Still, he was being pretty rude, but then again, those people are everywhere.

Jonna Wibelius said...

Artificial wisdom -the reason why I thought his behavior was so bad was because there was a woman in his company. Sure, you can abuse this and that if you are unhappy and if you are the rude kind, but I cannot believe he did it like that, in front of her? I mean, if my bf and his male friends would have talked like that about women when I sat there with them I think someone would have gotten a glass of water in their face.

The Acolyte Tao said...

Quit blogging and go make me Sandwhich woman. Haha.
I find the predigest against so funny and stupid, but I suppose that's what male dominated history gets ya. =P

S said...

How disgusting! There is nothing worse than arrogant, chauvinistic men! UGH.

http://shanghaiexpatlife.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Chinese women holds China's future into their hands!

Unlike men, they have something to prove, they need to fight extremely hard to make their way into chinese society, which is making them tougher and tougher.

In my line of work, I am always scared when a male is following up my orders in one of my supplier's factories, and I'm lot more reassured when it's a lady as I find them lot more detailed, responsible and careful (this is just an overall feeling).

Then I've been able to see many times ladies shouting at men in China in a way that the men could not do anything.

Chinese males! don't rest on your laurels! Chinese ladies are coming!

mantse said...

such idea still happen all over the world and discrimination is there.... they only want to look down others to fulfill their little and small heart and eyes.

kanmuri said...

It is most likely that their opinions of their wives are no higher... Sometimes it sucks to live in a confucean country...

Zhe said...

It is definitely not the general case in China, a well-educated man wouldn't think like this.

I just couldn't imagine what her mom will think if she heard this.

Jewels said...

I hate to say it Johanna, but there are examples of this all over the world.

I live in a society where this sort of behaviour would be called out, and probably the man would be belittled infront of his company for saying such rude things. We think that we live in this "advanced society" where none of these things take place anymore, but the truth is, it still happens everyday behind closed doors. If it didn't, we wouldn't need shelters for women and children. Sad, but true.

Thanks for sharing!

China Business Success said...

Unbelievable! That men still have a generalized image of women amazes me sometimes. Everywhere you go, there are still men who think that women are less than they are or that they are useless. Well, I can proudly say that there are enough successful women in the world. Not every man is smart or successful, so they don't always know what they are saying themselves. I think this gender problem will remain, because it hasn't changed a bit over so many decades or even ages.

Sassy Scribbles said...

how rude!

Now, I feel even luckier to live in a country where men won't even dare say what those Chinese men had said.

Dangerous Des said...

i just think it's hilarious that he made SUCH A BIG DEAL about paying with his card, when he actually had the cash! Would be easier to understand if he like, had to go to the cash machine, or ask someone else to pay or something. People like that are horrible customers even when they're not misogynistic asshats...

胡崧 said...

"It is most likely that their opinions of their wives are no higher... Sometimes it sucks to live in a confucean country..."

Actually, women in China enjoyed more rights and much greater job opportunities than their counterparts in other Asian countries. I would go as far saying that women in China are better treated than westerners in certain aspects.

Yang said...

@Dangerous Des: he probably wanted the bonus points with using that credit card hahahah.

It would've meant a loss of face if he had to ask one of his companions to pay so he was trying to salvage whatever he had left. Though imo he lost face for being a crybaby anyways haha.

Pingu said...

I was just musing about this the other day. I was thinking why historically women have always been held in low stature compared to men in every society. The conclusion I have arrived at was due to physical differences, the role division between men and women was work / home. This was engrained both socially and mentally.

However, the role division have changed. Work does not always mean harsh physical labour as technology advance and women are no longer at a disadvantage. With more equality (evening up the odds so to speak), women are better able to compete. But as always, general public perception lags reality. So this will take a few more generation to be more culturally engrained.

Pardon my blunt analysis ;)

Anyway, definitely it's rude to speak negatively about women in front of their face, but is talking behind their backs any better?

CD said...

hehehe, heard it all before, everytime I am in a car with my hub, and everytime we encounter rubbish drivers, he always assumed they're female drivers...
And I always agree with him..."Yes-bloody female drivers" we learned it all from our male instructor...:-)
and he also says..."Women just have to accept the fact that you cannot do all the things that men could do", and I said...but atleast-we know how to put up with all the crappy things that you guys do..:-)

Yann Le Berre said...

@ CD: On the other hand when I hop into a chinese taxi driven by a female driver I feel lot more confortable! They are always very careful, they always wear their seatbelts and advise you to do the same. And they drive very well and carefully !

Shanghai MiFeng said...

Yann Le Berre , you seem to be the Gentleman , that this Man sure was not .
I call myself MiFeng because my Wife is my Shanghai Flower . All Women are like Flower's to me , they are all different , but beautiful in their very own way , never the less . Like I have alway's said , to like/love a Woman , you also must like/love flower's , it's as simple as that .

MjF said...

Call me generalising if you want, but women is NOT a good driver....
Besides that man is indeed rude but the guys card might very well be one of those shopping card many gets from thier company or work place, or even a company credit card, which means with the card he dont have to pay for himself and was giving the company a paynote.

Phoenixkidd said...

Hillarious! I don't know how you put up with it Jonna, I couldn't. Those Chinese are years behind in their thinking yet what can one do. Afterall there are over a billion of them. So who's to say what is right and wrong.

sheri amor said...

we are not useless^_^ we are just equal.. that man is rude hmp