Making friends with kids

How to talk to them without coming across as a perv?

On my flight from Copenhagen to Beijing (I normally fly Finnair but this time I tried SAS) I was seated next to a Chinese kid who was travelling alone. As some of you might have guessed, this made me rather ecstatic. During my soon 4 years in China I have had very limited Chinese-kid-contact. Finally I had a whole flight to make a new, 12-year old friend.

Turns out that my little flight buddy George, however, wasn’t as keen as I was. He glared at me suspiciously when I first asked him if he was travelling alone in Chinese. I felt like a perv.

It took some 10-15 minutes before he came around:

-Why is it that you laowais nowadays know how to speak Chinese?

-I live in China, I explained.

-But you are not Chinese? he said, suspiciously. 

-No I am Swedish. But I live in China.

He looked at me for a moment, before he finally said:

-Why?

Unlike most Chinese people I’ve chatted to throughout my time in China, George wasn’t interested in my answer. Instead of looking impressed and happy about the fact that we could communicate in his mother tongue, he looked doubtful and confused.

I decided to do things his way and kept quiet, and as expected, it didn’t take long before he started to ask questions:

-Do you know what the name of this airline is?
(Yes, Scandinavian Airlines)
-Do you know what kind of computer games they have?
(No, I don’t play computer games?)
-Why don’t you play computer games?
(I’m bad at it)
-Why do you have a bottle of water with you?
(I bought it)
-Do you know anyone else on this flight?
(No)

Once the questioning had started I didn’t have to hold back anymore. I asked him where he had been (Trollhättan –he said this in Chinese so it took me a while to figure it out! Not the biggest Swedish city there is!), why he was travelling alone (his parents were still in Sweden), if this was the first time he was flying alone (yes it was, but he had been on airplanes before, he’d visited Italy and France as well as Sweden. Didn’t like these countries as much as Sweden though –yeah, of course I had to ask!). I also asked him if he had to study hard in school (not too bad, he said) and what part of Shanghai he liked best (Gubei –but he wouldn’t say why). He thought the places I liked (Xuhui, Luwan) were boring.

Our conversation was interrupted by a minor drama to our right. A woman seated next to a Russian guy who had taken off his shoes and put his feet on the wall (he had the front seat in the middle of the plane) was upset by the smell and wanted to swap place. Little George watched the drama unfold with great interest.

-Laowais are extremely strange, he eventually concluded.

-Why?

-In the city where I was (Trollhättan), people would say hello to each other even if they don’t know each other!

I was tempted to say:

“Well in Suzhou strangers used to drive past me, stick their head outside the window and yell HEEEELLOOOOO!” –but I kept back.

His comment also brought back a memory of me taking a photo of a farmer in Shuangxi, a country village outside Changsha in Hunan. When I later showed the photo to Rocky, my Chinese friend whose hometown it was that I had visited he asked me: 

“So, Jonna, do you know this farmer?” and I said: “No! Of course not!”
“So why did you take his photo?!” Rocky simply could not understand why I would want to photograph a stranger.

(At this time, I thought about all the times I have posed with groups of Chinese strangers at the Bund or at the Great Wall, but held back).

I was keen to hear more about why laowais were considered so strange in George’s head, but about that time we had taken off and the computer game function was on, so I lost little George. He spent most of the rest of the flight eating candy, snacks (he was constantly offered by the air stewardess who fussed over him), and playing computer games. Some hours before landing he finally offered his candy bag to me, confirming that I wasn’t a perv after all. It felt good, although I am reluctant to admit that I still am to get my head around how to reach out to Chinese kids. Maybe I need to learn how to play computer games?

China standard: travelling with a huge hand luggage

I’ve thought about this for quite a while: are there different rules regarding the size of hand luggage in China? After a countless number of flights where I have watched Chinese businessmen (always businessmen) step on the plane with bags the same size as my main, checked-in luggage, I cannot help but wonder.

The story is always the same. They get on the plane, dragging their giant back behind them (always dragging, never carrying –yet another sign that it is simply too big for being classified as a piece of hand luggage?), locate their seat, look at the overhead locker, realize that there is little or no space, and start yelling for the air stewardess. (Let me tell you one thing, if there is one working group in China that deserves an award for friendly patience, it is the group of Chinese air stewardess). Then they simply leave the bag with her and ease back at their seat. Try the same thing on a flight in Scandinavia, yeah, first of all the air stewardess would not put up with the screaming, second of all, she’d probably send you off the plane telling you you need to check in that large bag of yours.

Since we are on the subject of flying, however, I have to point out that the landing situation has become much better in China only during these (soon) 4 years that I’ve been here. When I first travelled on domestic flights in China I always watched people getting up and gathering their bags as soon as the plane hit the ground. Nowadays, most people actually stay seated until the seatbelt sign comes off. Great improvement. Again, however, when it comes to gathering your bag and getting off the plane: here comes the situation where the businessmen need to take their giant luggage from the overhead locker by themselves, as there is no tiny little air stewardess around to yell at. Funny that they always manage to hit someone (it’s been me, numerous times) with that huge bag, before eventually getting it down.

Until next time..

That's it for now Sweden, next time I return I want this:

Beach walks at Österlen
Summer "fika" in the garden
Country visits in villages so small you can count the population on one hand!
Kräftskiva -the annual crayfish party
Kubb
Summer cocktails
Sailing
Rainy MFF football games (as long as it doesn't snow!)

Summer puppies so cute you wanna take them home with you

Stockholm week coming to an end

Royal palace
The church where our crown princess will get married this summer I believe?
Parliament house

An intense week is coming to an end. Instead of lazying around in Shanghai avoiding being hit by firecrackers I’ve spent this week attending more meetings that I thought one could possible attend in Stockholm. It’s been useful and great, but now I’m ready to head back to Shanghai’s snow-free streets and comfortable temperatures. I’ve had it with minus 5-10 degrees, snow, wind and ice on the roads. Besides, I don’t have the right kind of clothes for this weather. This winter has been one of the longest and hardest ones in Swedish history (and I think that goes for many countries), and although it was fun for a while (especially around Christmas), I think most people over here are ready for spring!

Heading to Malmö tonight to spend the weekend with my folks before I fly back to Shanghai. Especially keen to return to a life of cheap lunches, rice bowls, spicy eggplants and chopsticks. (Gosh, it has become hard to be away from Chinese food). 

Flight happening of the year

If you are used to living a life of dramas, it will hunt you down no matter where you are. Take this work trip to Sweden for instance –NOTHING out of the ordinary normally happens over here. That is, until I decide to take a tiny little propeller plane (felt like that) from Malmö’s mini-airport Sturup (it looks like 5 Hong Kong airport gates put together) to Stockholm. Not only is the flight 2 hours delayed (NEVER happens at this place! Still people were livid when they found out), but when we eventually get to board, I realize I am on the same flight as a Chinese performance group who’s been in Copenhagen performing for the Chinese embassy because of the CNY.

The airline is so tiny that they don’t even have designated seats for all passengers, so basically you can sit wherever you like. As a result, the Chinese group (which was quite big) spread out completely (don’t ask me why), yelling to each other to come over with a bag/hairspray/bottle of water/god knows what. I end up sitting next to an old Beijing lady and I obviously can not help myself –I have to chat to her, causing her to have a minor fit when she realizes that the blonde giant next to her can actually speak Mandarin!

First I am bombarded by questions:

-Where did you learn Chinese?
-Why?
-Have you been to Beijing?
-Do you think Beijing is better than Shanghai?
-What’s the name of this airport?
-What’s the name of this airline?
-What are they saying now (every single time there was a message from the air stewardess/captain)?
-Why were we delayed?
-Do we get a meal on this flight?
-Why are all Swedish girls so tall?
-Are you married?

Then, she calms down, frowns at her free meal (sandwich and a chocolate -that we get simply as a compensation because of the delay –you normally don’t get meals on low-budget, 1 hour flights in Sweden) and fall asleep.

By then, however, I have managed to catch the attention of another Chinese group member: a huge shaolin monk who sit at the opposite line. I thought was busy trying to take pictures of the pretty air stewardess. He spends the rest of the flight staring at me, not saying anything.

Once we land the rumour had spread, and every single Chinese person on the flight (quite a bunch let me tell you) want to become my friend. I am in a hurry so I excuse myself and get off, hoping my bag will turn up quickly. As I stand at the baggage claim waiting, I suddenly hear someone say:

-Is that you, Jonna?!

I look up and see that it's in fact Erik –a guy that went to the same basketball collage as I did.. back in 1999! I haven’t seen him since I was 17! We just stare at each other until he finally says:

-So, eh… What have you been up to for the last 10 years?!

Around the same time as he asks me this, the Chinese group arrives at the baggage claim, and when they see me, they all yell: “oh, there’s Jonna!” run over, starts asking me questions, taking my photo, and so on. We all speak Chinese and I can see Erik’s face expression going from confused to very confused (one thing’s for sure, back at our basketball days I did not speak a lick of Chinese).

Once my bag turn up I say goodbye to the Chinese group (this is after some crucial name-card exchange –their tour guide is especially keen on keeping in touch with me. He speaks fluent Swedish and lives in Malmö! Funny) I see Erik watching me in awe.

-Want a lift to the city? I think you have some life updating to do!

So there we are, Erik, me and Erik’s little brother (who was on the same flight as me, that’s the reason Erik was at the airport) in the car, laughing and chatting. Until I remember that back at the basketball collage we were not actually good friends. I think, in fact, that Erik was one of those guys that I did not like!

I suppose when you add 10 years, an airport terminal, and a group of Chinese performances things change!

Shanghai World Expo fever

Swedish pavilion tour! (not me talking in the background, but it was me who waved to the Chinese guy!)

Some more expo stuff while we are at it:

Finnish and Danish pavilion
Finnish pavilion
Danish pavilion
Swedish pavilion in the making
Chinese pavilion shot from a car window

No place like home

Back home with the folks for a quick stopover before I begin next week’s workweek in Stockholm (I didn’t go home for a break, but to work, however, to recharge the batteries at my parent’s place during the weekend was an obvious choice). It pretty much looks the same here as it did when I went home for Christmas 2 months ago: There’s a massive amount of snow on the roads. It’s cold. The forest consists of a bunch of tempting, yet none run-able forest tracks. Still lovely to be home though!

Yesterday we went to the fairly new IKEA in Malmö. It’s the world’s second largest IKEA shop (44 000 square meters!) and as you might be able to imagine, it was huge! I kept wondering why they didn’t build it in Shanghai instead though, considering how little people there were, and considering what a people-packed place the IKEA in Shanghai is…

We then went on to Lund to help my little brother unpacking and building all the furniture he bought (yeah, the IKEA trip wasn’t for me even though I obviously couldn’t help myself and ended up buying some small things), as he has recently moved into a new student flat. Pretty nice deal for students in Lund (when they eventually find a flat, some people have to be in a housing line for 1 year), he only pays 9 months of rent, as the summer months are free of charge. Sometimes Sweden’s real good.

Huge IKEA

My favorite IKEA section! I know it's cheesy but I cannot get enough of IKEA candles. They smell so nice...

Funny thing was that as we were unloading the car a bunch of Chinese students walked by.

-I swear, it pretty much snows like this in Beijing too! One of them said, while the other ones objected. I was tempted to shout: 你们好！but managed to stop myself.

After putting together furniture for my brother for a few hours (mom and dad seriously thought is was a lot of fun? I was falling asleep) we went on to H&M and I, insanely relieved of the fact that in Sweden you don’t have to feel crammed everywhere you go, ended up getting some essentials (gosh, I feel like such Sweden nerd: IKEA and H&M in one day. I swear –I did not start appreciate these two shops until I moved away from Sweden when I was 19. Before then I used to dread shopping at either of these shops).

Typical student flat of a 20-something in Lund. 26 square meters.

Joel's setting up his TV (he promised to help me out the day I decide to move back to Sweden. I'm clueless of how to do some things that is completely normal to him).

Then we enjoyed a “fika.” Fika is one of the most common things to do in Sweden. It basically means hanging out at a café with a good friend/family member, enjoying a cup of coffee (which is the most compulsory part of a “fika”) as well as a small snack (optional –but I always go for it). At the café I bumped into an old school friend. Very old actually, we went to the same class grade 1-5! (I didn’t recognize her until she said my name, which is a bit alarming –she recognized me? Do I look the same as I did when I was 10? I was pencil thin back then. Hm… suppose it’s not a bad thing!). That was kind of weird, but fun. Guess who she’s dating? The same guy my oldest sister used to date when she was in highschool?! Hahaha! This place is too small!

After fika and H&M we went home, spent some hours relaxing, and eventually enjoyed some homemade salmon quiche. Yum! Spent the night watching the winter Olympics while scratching the cat behind her ear, thinking to myself: “Ah, there’s no such place as home!” And really, there isn’t. Regardless of how cold my feet are every time I walk outside. Love being back in beautiful Sweden!