Having a laugh with a bunch of strangers

Friendly to strangers

Yesterday when I walked into the women's changing room at the gym I was met by loud female voices having what sounded like a heated discussion.

In any other country I would straight away assume that there was a minor cat fight going on, but in China, loud, female voices is part of the normality. Five minutes later they were all laughing heartily together.

Curious as I am, I wanted to know what they were talking about. They spoke too fast for me to get everything, however, I understood that they were discussing different habits at different places in China as one of the women said:

-Ah that's so funny you guys don't do that over here! You know, I am from northern China and over there we all do!

-Really?! That's so strange! Said another woman. Here in Suzhou we don't do it.

A third voice chipped in:

-Where I come from no one does it either!!

-Where are you from? The woman from the north and the woman from the Suzhou said in choirs.

-Changsha.

-Oh, so how do you do things there?

They all started laughing and went on discussing their differences in habits. What exact habit they were talking about I didn't get, as they were at the other end of the changing room and my hearing isn't that good. But what I got from the conversation was that they obviously didn't know each other, but were just happy to chat away and tell each other about their different, home town habits. I found their discussion, as well as their happy laughs to be quite funny/cute. When I rode home later the same day, I tried to imagine the same discussion going on at the female's changing room at a gym in Sweden:

Stockholm (capital of Sweden) girl: Hey you shouldn't put your things over there, that's my space.

Girl from (what the citizens of Stockholm regard as the country side): southern Sweden's Skåne province: Oh really? Well sorry, I didn't realize? Can't we share the space?

Stockholm girl: What?! Sorry I cannot understand your dialect.

Skåne girl: Ah come on! Give me a break, of course you can.

Stockholm girl: No, I can't. You sound like you are from Denmark.

Girl from northern Sweden: What's the problem here, what are you two talking about. Isn't this a public space everyone can use?

I believe that in Sweden, even though the slightly different dialects are NOTHING compared to dialects in China, people would be too busy on being rude to each other/making sure no-one interferes with their personal space to ever be able to have a discussion with stranger about different habits in the north and south.

From fat, to six pack potential

I think her chances of getting a six pack are better than mine...

The situation at my gym is just getting better and better. Yesterday I spent a good, 45 minutes on the treadmill before turning to a exercise bike for a 20 minutes cool down. My friend Rocky came and sat next to me.

-Hey You Na, how's your stomach?

-Eh... fine I think. We both looked at it.

-So... do you have a six pack?

-A WHAT?!

-A six pack?

-A six pack?!! You think that I have a six pack?!

-Maybe?! I have heard that many western girls do.

-Really?!

-Yeah! So do you have one too?

-Eh... (holding back a hysterical laughter) no, I don't. But thanks for thinking so!

-Do you think you will get one soon?

-Eh... no. I don't think so.

-Why not? You work out very often.

-Good point... but no. A six pack is not in reach.

-You should get one. They look cool. 

-Yeah, sure. I know. I'll just... try that. Let's see. 

Wow... everyone hear that? From "You look fat" to "do you have a six pack?" within 1.5 months!? I am starting to get this now... Rocky has no idea, has he?

Spoken Chinese straight from the book

"That's some great notes you've got there, dear!"

Yesterday I had my last, out of three exams (speaking, grammar and listening. We also had an essay writing exam some weeks ago. I am still having nightmares about that one), namely my 口语 (kou yu) exam.

口语 (kou yu) is spoken Chinese, so I was a bit surprised when I got the exam, that consisted of 2 different parts:

Part 1: Written test: including character writing, writing sentences, explaining typical Chinese expression phrases by using your own (written) words, and completing dialogues by using special (read: chosen) words/expressions. Not much room for creativity here, no.

Surprisingly, the written test went quite well. Or OK, at least I think so. The characters seem to have somehow stuck in my mind this semester (or, maybe it was just a temporary moment of luck, who knows? I guess I will find out in some days when I will allow myself to re-open my books to, ehum, rehearse... )

Moving on to part 2, which was supposed to be the more 'oral part' of the test. This test consisted of four parts:

1. Read characters that were written on a piece of paper.

2. Read a longer text that the teacher had chosen for us.

3. Get a piece of paper with a total of 7 words (only in Chinese characters of course) and use all of those words to answer a question she asked.

4. Give a small presentation (oral only, thank lord!) about a topic of your own choice.

Hm... Is is only me who is sensing that something is wrong here... like.. where is the SPEAKING test?! Except for the final, 3-4 minute presentation, there was very little room for speaking?! Reading characters and text from a piece of paper isn't speaking, or is it? Well, at least not every-day speaking anyways? Who's going to go though life with a piece of paper in his/her hand?!

I was also surprised when I spoke to one of my classmates afterwards and she told me that she had nailed her topic.

-Awesome! I said. What did you talk about?

-Well, I had this whole story written down about travelling in northern China. So I just read her that one! It was great! Since I had everything on paper I didn't forget any hard words!

-Eh... OK.. Sure. Awesome. Great!

Hm... I think this girl is indeed planning to go through life with a piece of paper in her hand!?

If there is one part missing from learning Chinese at a Chinese university, it is learning how to speak Chinese without holding on to your book/notes. Fortunately, I noticed this already when I was on level 2, so I have gotten myself several language partners (and friends at gyms....) to practice my spoken Chinese with. Still, I feel that it is kind of sad, not to mention weird, that there is a whole course called 'spoken Chinese' that should be called 'spoken Chinese from a book,' because really, that is what it is.

Unexpected, but nice!

It wasn't without doubts that I yesterday decided that it was probably about time to hit the gym. After spending four days straight on the couch with my Chinese books only I also felt it could be nice to get out of the flat and engage in some more straining movement than walking from the living room to the kitchen in order to grab a snack.

Although I was keen to work out, it was with heavy legs I pedaled to the gym. I knew what was waiting there for me. Twelve days (+) of non-stop-chocolate-eating (as well as general Christmas indulgence) was catching up with me. Even thought the results wasn't evidently showing (yet), I knew that more than 3 weeks absence from the gym would result in comments I'd rather not hear. (Even though this time, they might be true).

A positive (where did that one come from?) voice in my head reminded me that my 'honest' trainer friends might not even be there, but as it turns out, that was just wishful thinking. The first person I saw when I stepped into the gym, wearing my (suddenly feeling tight?) gym clothes, with a protective hand over my belly, was, of course Rocky, alias the Hunan boy.

-You Na!!! His face lit up.

This triggered a smile. Christmas excess or not, he was happy to see me!

Even though I deliberately chose the cross-trainer located at the darkest, most isolated corner, it didn't take long before he spotted me there and came up.

-Long time no seen! He said with a smile, and ran his eyes over my body. I knew what was coming.

-Wow. He suddenly said. I closed my eyes.

-Your skin! It looks amazing.

My.... skin?! I opened my eyes again. "My skin looks what, amazing?" What skin?!

-Huh? was all that came out of my mouth. But Rocky didn't seem to notice that I was lost for words. He was too busy staring at my face, going on about my skin, telling me how much better it looked now compared to before, asking me what I had done to it, before again telling me how great it looked.

It took a while before reality kicked in and I could gather myself, and answer that "eh no, I didn't do anything special to my skin (in fact, I don't really pay that much attention to skin.. I guess I should? It's supposed to be really important if you are a girl I believe?), and sure, maybe it was the clean, Swedish water/air that had helped it looking better, but truth to be said I didn't know...."

The praising of my skin (that's a sentence I thought I would never write) went on for a good five minutes until we went on to things like: 'how have you been and what have you been up to.' Even around these topics my lacking fitness/gym absence was kept out of the conversation.

It was with light, happy feet that I rode my bike home that night, thinking that not only do I not look fatter this time, but also, apparently my skin looks great!? Seeing that comments from my Chinese male friends often involve: 'you look so tired/ you look a bit fat/ you look so unhappy' (well, you get it... it's mainly negative things), getting a skin-compliment was a kind of fresh, well-needed change (and I can tell 2009 is going to be a great year). 

Once home I walked into the living room where my boyfriend was sitting, asking him:

-Have you notice anything different with my skin?

He looked at me blankly. I could tell he had no idea what I was talking about.

Crunch time

Yesterday, despite it being Sunday, we had out last Chinese lessons before today's exam(s). Although the lessons weren't compulsory (are they ever when you choose to study for your own sake rather than the grades?) our teachers had told us that it could be a good opportunity to turn up and get all those questions that we had answered. Since I am known for questioning a lot of things I was one of the first ones to walk into our cold, badly lit up classroom yesterday morning at 8.30 am, where the class' whizz-kid (a Japanese girl who scored Level 8 -!- on the previous HSK test we did. We all refer to her as 'the prodigy' nowadays. Although she doesn't understand English she still looks flattered every time she hears it) were already seated at the front desk.

-No teacher? I asked.
-No teacher! She replied.

Minutes passed. Students dropped in. Being polite and never questioning things, no-one said anything about the missing teacher. In fact, it was only me who wondered where on earth she was, and felt a bit annoyed with the fact that I had left my cosy bed on a Sunday morning only to enter a teacher-empty classroom? So, after 30 minutes of sitting in the classroom with my happy-to-just-chat-away-classmates, I decided a little text reminder couldn't hurt, got the number to the teacher, and typed:

"Not coming to class today? We are all waiting for you."

Twenty seconds later (she is clearly a fast typer!) I get this:

"My Gosh! Give me five minutes!! I'll be there immediately"

I sensed the panic and couldn't help but feeling a tad bit guilty. Four minutes later (she's fast indeed, this is the first time a Chinese person tells me 'immediately' and actually means it) she stormed in, panting heavily, and ran straight up to me:

-What do you need help with?! she said, in between catching her breath. I am so sorry, I just forgot that we had a lesson today.

Guess who felt like the biggest a**hole ever.

Once the lesson had finished (and a relieved looking teacher probably went back to bed) our second lesson started. We could sense that this teacher (who was perfectly in time) really wanted us to finish the chapter we were studying in no time, because he rushed through it. Once the bell rang he decided it could be a good time to tell us what tomorrow's (as in, today's) exam would be about.

He started off by writing down the chapters involved. Chapter 54-59. We had just finished chapter 60.

-What about what we learned today, a star-student asked.
-Oh, that's just a bonus, he smiled.
-Not in the exam? Someone else said, with a kind of high-pitched voice.
-Not in the exam! No need to worry.
-But... but.... we studied it?! the star-student tried. Shouldn't it then be in our exam!?
-No... I think it is better we repeat a chapter from before than adding all this new stuff.

The star-student, the whizz-prodigy-girl and some other A-students looked completely gobsmacked. It was only me who was smiling like a sun. I was just about to turn around to the Korean girl sitting behind me and tell her what a relief it was to have one chapter less to study tonight, but she beat me to it.

-Doesn't that sucks?! She said, rolling here eyes. Here we have been preparing chapter 60 and it is not even in the exam!
-Ehum... sucks?! I think it's sort of exc... I was caught off guard when I saw her accusing look.
-It SUCKS indeed! I said, making sure to add a convincing, angry nod. I have also prepared this chapter so well! There. I am one of them. 

Holy crap. People take their exam preparations seriously over here. Maybe I should to? OK, from next semester onwards, I'll try. No really, I will.

Anyhow, today is the big, D-Day, and ready or not, here I come.... I hope that I have at least prepared the right chapters...and that our teachers all turn up. Best of luck to me. Something tells me the others don't need it.

Getting to know your Chinese workmates -not always a piece of cake

Bonding over a drink is the shit... but what if they don't drink?

I was talking to two other laowais the other day, who expressed their concern about the fact that their Chinese workmates seemed to have zero interest in getting to know them. Since I have some personal experience on this matter, I thought it could be worth a post.

Starting with this one western guy, who has been at his work place for one year now. Since day one he has unsuccessfully tried to get to know his Chinese colleagues. His methods have been everything from asking them about their wknd plans/how their wknd was (with their normal reply being: 'sleeping/ watching a DVD'), to asking them to join him for lunch. The result: at last year's Christmas party he sat down at a table with them, and one of them asked him to move to another table, so that another Chinese workmate could get his spot.

-I don't get it. He told me as we were having a discussion about possible reasons to why they treat him so coldly. Have I been trying too hard? Or do they simply, just don't like me?

Hard to tell.

When I started working at a magazine in Shanghai some 2 years ago I got the same, cold vibes from my Chinese workmates. They weren't rude to me. They just didn't care, and showed zero interest in getting to know me. It didn't matter that I kept asking them about their wknds, or about what they were doing for lunch. They would reply with a smile, and at most ask me back about my plans. But never an invite. And me, being the new girl, didn't feel comfortable about inviting myself.

I don't know how it happened but I think it was at a company party (about 5 months after joining the company), when a tray of drink presented itself in front of us, that we all let our guards drop and actually had a real talk... and a laugh. Turns out, they were all hilarious, young, friendly girls and that we had the same sort of humor. After that night, going for lunch together suddenly became a natural thing. So did sharing information about your boyfriend/ your thoughts about the boss/ last Friday's party, and so on. Even though I left that work place ages ago, we still keep in touch, and some of them are still my best friends over here. It's just funny when I think back of how long it took for us to even have a real conversation.

Another laowai I know feels that his Chinese colleagues are behaving a bit weirdly when it comes to introducing new, Chinese workmates. It has happened several times that he sees a workmate walk around with a new member of staff, introducing her to everyone in Chinese. Then, when they come to his desk, she just skips him and moves on to the next person.

The first time he thought it was a mistake and almost ran after the new girl to introduce himself, but as the new people kept arriving he noticed that pretty much none of them was introduced to him. Weird? Ehum, yes. Feeling a bit odd about the situation already, he hasn't had the guts to ask his staff members why he is normally left out of the whole introduce-the-new-staff-procedure.

Obviously, there is a large gap between Chinese and westerners behaviour at work places and obviously Chinese people are quite reserved when it comes to getting to know new workmates. But as a westerner, new to the place, what are you supposed to do? Interrupt their conversations? Invite yourself to their lunches? Or simply, sit back at your desk, mouth shut, and wait for them to take the first step?

NY celebrations

Party taking off

So far, 2009 has been quite good. But then again, I cannot say I have been over-active. NY eve was spend in Shanghai with a bunch of Australian friends. We started off with dinner at 1221, a Shanghainese restaurant located on Yan'an Lu. The restaurant was packed and there was a festive atmosphere, that got even better when a bunch of highly intoxicated Russians sat down at the table next to ours and started singing Russian Christmas carols. Soon, they decided to get the rest of the restaurant's guests involved too, and passed a "microphone" (which was in fact a confetti popper!) to our table and asked us for a contribution. Seeing that our table was 80% Australian, the Aussies sang some Australia song, which managed to grab the rest of the restaurant's guest's attention, and then the party really took off. The confetti popper was passed around and we listened to Chinese, Italian, Swedish, Russian, and God-knows-what-language-Christmas carols?! Even the staff did a little performance. It was hilarious!

Australian anthem

Around 10.30pm we decided to leave the singing restaurant and head for New Heights who was having an 'aprés-ski' party. Fortunately, we had ignored the theme, because no one had dressed up. The party was so-so. They had this open bar deal, and therefore the quality of drinks wasn't the best and everyone at the place were wasted (drinks were made with generous amounts of booze and moderate amounts of mixers... and at around 1.30am the bar was completely out of mixers and wine). Since we weren't that interested in drinking straight vodka from tall highball glasses, we left around 2.30am. All in all it was a good night, although I don't think I'll go to that New Heights party again. Open bars sort of bodes for messiness.

New Heights

New Heights

Yesterday we woke up in Shanghai feeling everything but flash. After a whopper meal at Burger King, however, we regained our powers, and caught the train back to Suzhou where we bought ourselves loads of DVDs, opened a box of Swedish chocolates (ahhhh!), and ordered copious amounts of Chinese dishes from a local restaurant. Mmmmmm.... not the healthiest start of 2009, but well... sometimes it is nice to be lazy!!

Today is a holiday in China (although as a result of having today off, everybody have to work/go to school on Sunday so it's not really a day off 'for free') and I am planning to study, study and study. On Monday and Tuesday I have my final exams and I would lie if I said I have prepared well. I guess I should also hit the gym at some point, but well... no rush. I am too comfortable to move at the moment. I hope that everyone had a great NY, and a good start of the new year!