The (language) competition is ON

Yesterday when I was having lunch, a western guy and a Chinese man came in and sat down some tables away from me. I couldn’t hear exactly what they were saying, but one thing did I grasp, and that was that the western guy spoke PERFECT Chinese. I was so impressed I could barely eat. I almost considered going up to him and just telling him how inspiring it was to listen to him. Then I realized that If I did, I would (more or less) come across like some sort of ‘Chinese language groupie.’ So, instead of continuing eavesdropping, I straightened my back, plugged in my computer, and got on with my own stuff.

I find westerner who can speak Chinese well very impressive/inspiring, because you know that they must have spent a loooot of time learning it, and that they (unless they are some sort of language geniuses) must have at least gone through SOME of the ups and downs of learning Chinese that I am currently going through.

Unfortunately, there are also an annoying group of Chinese speaking laowais, who not only love showing off their skills, but who are also ‘competing’ with other Chinese learners.

My friend Anna (who speaks Chinese quite well, but who is quite humble about her skills) bumped into one of those guys in a bar. She was standing in the bar, and said something in Chinese to the bargirl. The western guy standing next to her picked up on what she said and asked her (in Chinese) if she could speak Chinese.

-Yeah, I am studying, Anna answered (in English)

-So where are you from? (In Chinese?)

-Finland (In English). And you?

-England (in Chinese).

Anna was starting to feel a bit weird. Why was this English guy chatting her up, IN CHINESE at a bar? However, the guy just kept doing his ‘thing,’ and went on by telling Anna (in Chinese) about his studies in economics, and how he was in China to ‘do business’ (aren’t they all?).

Once he finished he gave her a questioning look.

-Am I speaking too fast? Is my language too hard for you? Do you understand everything I am saying? He said, in a very slow, condescending way (still in Chinese).

-I understand. Sounds great, and good luck with your business, (way too polite) Anna replied, obviously fed up with his one-way-conversation.

-But really, do you understand the word 经济 (jing ji –economics)?

-Yes.

-So what does it mean?

-Economics.

-Wow, I am impressed! Most foreign Chinese speakers don’t understand hard words like ‘economics.’ You must really understand Chinese. Why don’t you speak a little so that I can listen to you?

-Eh… no… I’d rather not…like, my Chinese is not that good.

Triumphant smile from him before he proceeded by telling her about his business in China, about how he had learned Chinese and nowadays relied on it completely… After 5 minutes of monologue he suddenly asked: do you want to go out sometime?

-NO! said Anna. And left.

When Anna shared this story with me I was laughing out loud. Seriously, what sort of person does something like that? Sure, you are happy that you can speak Chinese, but come on… there’s a time and a place for everything, and I don’t believe that trying to chat up a fellow loawai, IN CHINESE, is going to make you lucky. Also, I personally have a bit of a problem with people that are so eager to show off their skills that they don’t even wait for the right moment. (Maybe that’s because I am so humble about my own Chinese –I would never dream of trying to chat to another foreigner in Chinese if we could both speak English and if no other Chinese/non-English speakers were around).

I have noticed that there can be a bit of a ‘competition’ between fellow Chinese studying laowais, especially at a place like the university where everybody are learning. People want to know ‘how good you are/how your pronunciation is/how many characters you can read and write’ and compare themselves. It’s easy to get sucked into it all and start comparing yourself to others, however, I try not to since I am not learning to get a high score, but rather, learning for life.

Also, I find the whole ‘comparing yourself with fellow laowais’ kind of useless. For starters, I feel that laowai-Chinese and Chinese-Chinese isn’t the same thing (it is like some months ago when the Koreans in my class made a joke in Chinese and only the other Koreans and the teacher laughed. Me and my Japanese classmates looked at each other, completely confused as we didn’t get it. “Don’t worry,” the Korean student then said. “Remember that we speak Chinese with a Korean accent! Only Koreans understand!” And then we all laughed), and secondly, at this point of learning the language, I still feel that my pronunciation gets worse when I speak to non-native Chinese speakers (like my classmates). I don’t know why exactly, but it is the same when I speak English. I believe that I sound much better when I speak English to native English speakers than I do when I speak English to… let’s say Finns or Germans. I think I subconsciously concentrate a bit more, and also aim for sounding less ‘Swedish’ and more ‘English’ than as usual.

Any Chinese-learner out there who understand what I mean?

SHE in China at "Blog interviewer"

Someone recommended my blog to a page called "Blog Interviewer" and as a result, I've been interviewed by them. Noting super interesting, I just thought I'd mention it. The Blog Interview page features a bunch of blogs, so maybe you'll find something you like from their link selection. And, you should of course add your own blog to their list! Read the full (although short!) interview here

Public snog spot

None of my Shanghai couple friends are very outgoing when it comes to showing emotions. I think I have seen one couple kiss ONCE, and that was at a nightclub far beyond closing hours. While holding hands is considered OK, snogging in public over here seems to be a real no-go.

That being said, there is a clear exception. A city-snog-zone. A place where you can kiss, hug and embrace each other, without worrying about taking stepping over the 'what's-considered-OK-for-public-snogging-line'. Yes, of course I am talking about the Shanghai metro/subway. While traveling underground a lot of couple take the opportunity to glance into their significant other's eyes, and maybe have a little snog while they are at it (no, we are not talking anything outrageous here... it's all innocent... but considering people so rarely show emotions while out in the open, it still kind of stands out).

Don't get me wrong, I don't think there is anything wrong with showing affection, however, the choice of place has left me puzzled. Why the metro? It's not really a sexy place, is it? Why not.... let's say.... the mall? Or the park? Or the street? I wonder if it's the same in other Chinese that have an underground system. Do people there use the subway for snogging too? Or, is Shanghai's metro officially China's number one public snog spot?

While I am continuing to feel confused about this, I might as well list some other popular metro activities:

* Cutting your nails

* Napping
* Eating
* Competing/racing for free seats
* Reading the newspaper (my personal favorite)
* Talking on the phone
* Playing computer games
* Sms:ing
* Handing out advertisements
* Selling things (maps, papers...)

If I have forgotten something, feel free to add.

Oh, one more thing. While metro snogs might be common going public about them isn't as hot. In the beginning of last year a couple filed a law suit as their metro snog was made public. Yikes!

Is it rude to go dutch/ AA制?

Delicious... up until pay time when it goes sour...

A friend of mine (male, early 30ies, laowai) expressed a small concern the other day over dinner. He had been invited to meet up with two of his Chinese female friends the next day for a game of pool.

However, the game of pool had suddenly snowballed into a game of pool followed dinner (which he was OK with), until it became a game of pool, dinner, AND karaoke.

For starters he wasn't into karaoke.

Second of all, he wasn't keen to pay for it all.

-Well, why don't you just split the bill then? I asked.

-They are Shanghai girls. They expect me to fork the bill.

-Expect?

-Yeah, last time we went out for dinner and drinks. They even brought an extra friend. All of them have boyfriends so it wasn't like a date or anything. Still, when the bill came no one did an even slight attempt to reach for their wallet. All was paid by me.

-So why didn't you say anything?

-I don't know... I guess I am just bad at that sort of things. I feel so uncomfortable asking them to chip in. Mainly because they are all expecting me to pay.

I have heard similar stories to this one before, although that time from my Taiwanese male friend who asked a girl out for a date. When he turned up for dinner, however, he realized that she had brought her 2 girlfriends and he ended up having to pay the dinner for all of them. When my friend told me this he said it was nothing strange about that, but rather, that it was the common standard over here.

(really? Going for a date and bringing your two girlfriends? Ladies -anyone- have you done that?!?)

But back to my laowai friend.

He felt it was 'rude' of him to ask them to chip in for the bill, as they believe it is the man who should pay. Always. Friendly dinner or date.

But I have to say that I personally find this sort of thinking kind of.... out of date. Sure, if the guy asks the girl out on a date. Then many men and women consider it to be the guy's job to take care of the bill. But when going out with a friend, who already has a hubby/boyfriend back home, and who in addition to getting a free dinner herself brings some girlfriends who wants to eat too? Then I reckon going dutch is the thing. I mean, if you don't even know that third person, then why should you pay for her food? Just because she is a girl? Not every single guy is loaded -Chinese or laowai.

I told my male friend this, and even though he nodded in agreement I could see in his eyes that he wasn't likely to ask the girls to split the bills with him the next time he ended up in a similar situation.  

Gosh, sometimes it is good to be a girl and not to have to worry to be considered 'rude' when you ask to split the bill. I always go dutch. Female or male friend -why should they pay for my dinner? (or why should I pay for theirs -I am far from the loaded laowai). Unless they have specifically invited me out for a dinner treat I reckon there is nothing wrong with AA制 as it is called in China. (AA制 means 平均分担帐单 -each person in a group of people equally shares the bill of a dinner/ a drink).

What do you guys think? Is it considered rude by a guy to ask his female friend to AA制? Or shall he just pay, every single time, with a smile on his face?

The "zhe ge/na ge-Chinese"

"It's... 那个那个......nice!"

Me and a workmate came up with the term "the zhe ge/na ge (literally means 这个 'this one/那个 that one') -Chinese" when we were working together in Shanghai in the beginning of 2007. At that time, our knowledge of Chinese was extremely moderate and we used to challenge each other do complete every day tasks despite our language limitations.

It was during one slow Monday afternoon when my workmate decided to head down to the AllDays (convenience store) to get us some cheer-us-up-and-make-this-afternoon-pass-faster-ice-cream that the 'zhe ge/na ge-Chinese' was born. I wanted to challenge my workmate to do something harder than picking up an ice cream from the freezer, and therefore asked him to buy me a pre-paid mobile phone card as I was out of credit.

-Eh, ehhh.... ehhhhh... he was sounding, standing halfway out the door, looking ready for ice cream but not quite ready to buy me a pre-paid mobile phone card.

-It's easy! I said, totally capable of reading his mind. ("how the h*** do I buy that sort of card when I barely know the word 'pre paid!?") Just use your imagination!

-Sure, he said, being all brave and unwilling to admit himself defeated and incapable of living the China life to its fully without any knowledge of Chinese.

Fifteen minutes later he came back with a huge grin (as well as some ice cream) on his face, dropped one ice cream, one snickers (he obviously knew me well) and one mobile pre-paid card on my desk.

-So how did you manage? I asked, offering half of my Snickers as a polite gesture (I knew he would decline. After working with me for 2 months he had learned how important it was for me to have my chocolate to myself).

-Well... I just used a bit of 'zhe ge' 'na ge,' he said, still grinning, and demonstrating his actions by holding up his mobile phone to me, pretending I was the AllDays woman. I just pointed at this and said 'zhe ge' and then pointed behind the counter where they keep the pre-paid cards and said 'na ge.'

I was impressed. But since that day I realized that there was a LOT of things you could do in Shanghai only by using the words 'zhe ge/na ge.' You could, for instance order food if the restaurant had a foreign-friendly picture-menu (simply by pointing at the colorful photo and say 'zhe ge'). You could also buy clothes (you just pointed at the clothes saying 'zhe ge,' and when the guy gave you an outrageous price you'd grab the calculator from his hand, type something more moderate, say 'na ge' and show it to him), buy mobile pre-paid cards (like my friend), buy fruits/magazines/snacks from street vendors, and so on... in fact, with a little bit of imagination, you could get on quite well in Shanghai only by using the 'zhe ge/ na ge' -Chinese.

Now, before all of you start yelling protests and tell me that I am 'completely out of my mind,' let me remind you, that this was BEFORE I knew any Chinese. And to be quite honest with you all, I still reckon that 'zhe ge' and 'na ge' is some of the best survival Chinese there is. At least you won't have to go hungry with that in your luggage.

However, once I started learning Chinese, I obviously realized that it was quite... ehum, lame, to overuse those two words. Also, because in Chinese, 'zhe ge' or 'na ge' can be used kind of like a 'fill the silence word' while you are looking for another word.. (just like the English 'like')

Still, it's survival potential is evident. And, some months ago I also learned that by using the 'zhe ge/na ge' Chinese, you can boost your status and call yourself 'Mandarin knowledgeable.' 

It happened one night when we went out for dinner: a large group of laowais and some visitors from home. One of the guys who had been living in China for some 2 years wanted to shine a little bit extra and offered to order the food. We then watched as he had a 'zhe ge/na ge' conversation with the waiter, adding some extra words such as 'pi jiu' (啤酒 beer) and 'mi fan' (米饭 rice). Our visitors from home, not understanding a single word of Chinese, were extremely impressed.

-Wow, your Chinese is really good! One of them said to the guy.
-Nah... well... yeah, obviously it helps to know the basics in order to live in China! said the "zhe ge/na ge/pi jiu/mi fan -guy." You could tell that he enjoyed the compliment.
-So how long have you been learning? asked another not-understanding-a-lick-of-Chinese-visitor.
-Well... you know... most of the Chinese I know I have picked up by listening to locals. And then I have studied a bit on my own too. You know. It's not an easy language. Takes a lot of time. And a lot of practicing.
-No... it sounds really hard! But obviously you can get on quite well with it?
-Yeah, totally. I know enough every-day Chinese to get on well.

I had to bite my tongue not to say anything and in the end I am happy I didn't. I mean, in a way, this guy was doing the same thing as I did when I first came here, relying on the little things he knew to get by. Nothing wrong with that. But seriously... Admitting that your Chinese is 'quite good' and that you've 'studying hard and picked it up by listening to locals'..... naaaaah. Dude, that takes a little bit more than that, right?!

A week later we were back at dinner. However this time, it was me, the same group of laowais, some Chinese guys and no visitors from home.

While we were talking (in English), I couldn't help but noticing how the "zhe ge/na ge/pi jiu/mi fan -guy", threw in some Chinese words every here and there. This time, he used the 'zhe ge/na ge' Chinese just like the Chinese use it, to 'fill the silence while looking for the right word', as well as some other words to demonstrate his knowledge of the language.

It was 'very mama huhu this' ('very so-so' -by the way, how can something be 'very so-so'?), and 'na ge' great food... And then, when describing the way to a bar that we were talking about, he kept saying things like 'first you go straight, then you go zuo guai, na ge na ge, you guai and then you are there' (he literally said: 'go straight... like, like... turn left, turn right...') In the end it almost became embarrassing as I could tell that the Chinese guys were having some difficulties understanding all the 'na ge' and 'zhe ge' that were thrown into the conversation without making any sense. Still, being all polite and nice, and capable of understanding how much this guy wanted to show off, one of the Chinese guys said (at the end of the dinner):

-Wow, your Chinese is quite good!

....making the e zhe ge/na ge/pi jiu/mi fan -guy shine like a sun.

I haven't had dinner with him since but sometimes I wonder if he is still 'showing off,' at the same time as I am hoping that he has added some new words to his vocabulary.

I'm just thinking to myself that I know how bad it sounds when someone Swedish (who has been living abroad) speaks to another Swede in Swedish, but throws in English words every here and there... ("Och sen åkte vi vidare till en plats som var sådär totally crazy! Jag menar, alla va bara helt faboulous and stuff. Och vi va så completely happy!"). This makes me think that being Chinese and listening to a laowai going "and then we went upstairs, 那个那个, and everybody were 这个这个 happy!" can't be that much fun. In fact, it must sound quite.... ehum, stupid? 

Photo special: Lost in a forest in Yunnan

When you are living in cities like Suzhou or Shanghai you easily forget that there is more to China than 24-7 consumption/entertainment and commercial streets like Nanjing and Huaihai Lu. Fortunately, China is far from a 'block of concrete and skyscrapers.' In 2006 i travelled to some poor and undeveloped areas of Yunnan and I am so happy that I got a chance to experience that side of China too. I spent some nights at farmer's villages where the annual income was around 500 rmb. Even though the village people were poor they were extremely friendly and generous, cooking me dinners and making sure I was having a good time. In the village where I stayed there was only one household that had a TV so every night the whole village came over to watch Chinese TV shows that they didn't even understand. (These village people belongs to the Shansu minority group and speak a language called 'yi' and most of the grown ups don't understand any Mandarin).

During my time in Yunnan, I also got a chance to see some nature, and I spent half a day trekking a gorgeous forest (that I unfortunately have forgotten the name of...) Well, actually, it was supposed to be a 2-hour trek, but as usual when I am around, we got lost -big time! We had thought that it would be a good idea to do this trek before breakfast so it was on empty stomachs we walked around the muddy forest, slipping and sliding, bumping into women picking mushrooms and men taking care of the forest, and we didn't make it back to our car until 5 hours later! During the 30 min drive from the forest to the city no one uttered a word, we were all so hungry. And the lunch we had in the city is probably one of the best lunches I have ever had in my entire life.

Anyway, it was a great experience and what a beautiful forest. So green and full of life.

Hooked on Chinese children's shows

Hey buddy, wanna hang out?!

Gosh, why did you guys tell me to start watching Chinese TV?! I mean, sure, I have known I should do it for the last year or so, as it is supposed to be a really good way to practice your Chinese listening skills. But to be quite honest, I haven't got around to do it. And why? Well, for starters, I don't like to watch TV. I get all restless when I have to sit still for a long time without being productive. Also, I find Chinese TV programs to be.... quite... ehum... cheesy. But, nevertheless, I have now started watching. And I am hooked. On children's shows. Yesterday I spent 1 hour in front of the TV watching a show about a little boy who was experiencing difficulties as his mom got angry for everything. Someone 'above' must have heard his prayers because then he ended up getting a 'happy mom magic water' from some Chinese children living in space (gotta love shows with space kids!) that he sprayed on his mom, and then she was happy, DESPITE him only scoring 99% on his exam (instead of 100%). I loooooved this show. We are talking cheesy, but simple conversations, exaggerated acting, ridiculous plot and big, bold hanzi subtitles. Actually, I never thought I would say this, but I found myself constantly glancing on the hanzi, as I almost understand MORE of the characters than the speech?! Hm.. how did that happen? Only one year ago I remember naming 'reading characters' as my biggest problem. Funny when you improve without really noticing it.

As for the TV shows, I know I should probably move on from watching space kids handing out 'magic water' to help kid's unhappy mothers, but the sad truth is that after the kid's show came the news, and then my newly won gosh-I-am-quite-smart-confidence dropped like a penny in a lucky fountain. The news show used all 'grown up' Chinese and also, they spoke so faaaaast. Impossible for me to follow. I guess I'll stick to the kid's shows for now.

Some years ago I met a European girl in Shanghai who spoke perfect Chinese. She told me she'd only studied at the university for one year, then she got a job at a local kindergarten where she'd worked for 2 years. Being constantly surrounded by Chinese children, her Chinese improved and she was now fluent, although she admitted that her Chinese friends sometimes raised their eyebrows when they heard her 'highly childish' expressions.